Short of jetting off to Bali and drowning your heartache in fruity cocktails, the quickest way to exorcise someone from your heart is by ridding yourself of all the bad juju—and debris—that a rough breakup can leave in its wake. What should you throw away? What should you keep and take out later? What should you return?
When you break up with someone, how do you expect the people in your life to treat your ex? One of my primary concerns when my ex and I broke up was how the breakup was going to affect my relationship with his mom. Even though I hadn't "done" anything, would she still feel comfortable maintaining contact with me? And even if she did want to remain a part of my life in the months after the breakup, what about when my ex brought home a new girlfriend for her to meet? Would her friendship with me get in the way of her developing a bond with a new, potential daughter-in-law?
Fumigate your technology like you would a roach-infested kitchen, here's how to wipe out every trace of your ex from technology. Think about it this way: seeing your ex in your phone or online only makes you think about what he/she is doing, realize you're no longer privy to that info (at least not right now, maybe friendship lies ahead), and—as any human would—suffer as a result. Why not make technology work for you and remove the catalysts for this negative reminder? We say, cleanse and be free.
Keeping your ex in your life, aka "exing" -- whether that involves a no-strings-attached hook-up or daily monitoring of his Facebook page -- is sabotaging your future happiness. Here are six common exing patterns to 86 from your life (along with that dude!).
Last week I started a discussion about how long it takes to get over an ex. Fortunately, time really does heal most wounds and eventually the fog lifts and the day comes when you realize, suddenly, you're gloriously, blessedly, wonderfully, finally over him! That day doesn't come without warning, of course. There are always signs you're moving on.
A new study says it takes the typical person 17 months and 26 days to feel ready to move on after a divorce, which got me thinking: How long does it take to get over a regular ol’ breakup (you know, one that doesn’t require lawyers)? Is there a mathematical equation? Does it matter if he or she was your first love?
The better question isn't whether you would tell your BFF that you slept with her ex, but whether you'd sleep with her ex in the first place. Conversely, could any of you ever find it in your heart to give your friend your blessing if she slept with your ex and wanted to pursue a relationship with him?
You know you'd never invite the horrible ex that broke your heart to your wedding, or the raving psycho who is still trying to get your fiancé back in bed, but what about those in between? Those men and women who are actually friends, even though you used to knock boots? Should you invite them to your wedding?
Should you take back your ex? While you don't owe every dude you've done a second chance, there are those select few who you just have to give it to. However, before you go re-welcoming them with open arms, you have to think about what exactly you're going to also have to embrace about him. Here's how you can see if he's worth giving another shot.
For all of these reasons, it is natural to have conflicting feelings. Long after love fades away, attachments can continue. The dependency, the comfort of the familiar, and the memories all contribute to difficulty in letting go. Angry feelings often co-exist with longing for the familiar spouse.
I'm not sure if you saw the recent news that Jennifer Aniston is still talking about her marriage to William Bradley "Brad" Pitt. The tune has mellowed for the most part, she says, "In contrast to what people say, Brad and I have a very cordial relationship. I admire him a lot for what he is doing to help other people and I think he is an extraordinary actor." Nice. That said, I'm on Team Aniston.
Recently, we happened upon a charming little website called DearOldLove.com. The concept is very simple: Much in the way that PostSecret publishes postcards with people's deepest secrets written on them, DearOldLove posts small, poignant notes from people who have one last thing to say to that old lover. Under the guise of anonymity, it's surprising how much that's left unsaid finds itself out in the open for all to read.