The worst part of the end of a relationship can be the lack of one. We've all been there, waiting for answers that never came and wasting precious time trying to get that closure from an ex who just wasn't willing to give it. Whether it was a long drawn-out breakup or one that ended abruptly without warning, below are some tips on how to move on to bigger and better things—specifically a new you.
Today Gawker alerted us to the story of Carol Anne Burger, a Huffington Post blogger who stabbed her ex-lover in the neck with a screwdriver 222 times and then shot herself before police could question her. Burger, 57 and her ex, Jessica Kalish, 56, had broken up but for financial reasons were still living together in the condo they'd purchased in 2000. While they worked with a lawyer to sell the house and divide their assets (they were married in 2005), they spent time on opposite sides of the apartment.
American and Chinese researchers working together at a neural research facility in Georgia have discovered that flooding the brain of mice with a particular protein vital to learning and memory retention can selectively erase memory. While the mice are in the process of repeating an activity or encountering a toy they've already seen, simultaneously adding a burst of the protein leaves virtually no memory of the instance orobject. All without otherwise harming brain function.
"It's a little strange here," I wrote in my journal on the first night alone in my new apartment. It was a small concession, wedged between a list of to-do's ("paint my walls," "need lamps…better linen…a new comforter") and things done ("unpacked," "straightened up my files"). The overall sentiment about my new world order? "It is a fairly good feeling."
What if your future husband was a guy from your past, and finding him came with a deadline? That's the premise of The Ex List, a relationship dramedy premiering Oct. 3 that's based on a hit Israeli series. Elizabeth Reaser (last seen as Ava, Dr. Karev's patient-turned-lover on Grey's Anatomy) stars as the aptly named Bella Bloom, a florist who gets surprising news from a psychic. She's already dated "the one," and she's got a year to find him or she'll never marry.
My older sister Catherine warned me. She had picked me up from the airport a week before Christmas in 2006. As the dusk gave way to dark and the Texas horizon rolled out before us, we rode in silence—until I confessed. I had come dangerously close to cheating on Nathan (some names have been changed), my boyfriend of four years, with a friend of mine. Everything was confusing save for one devastating confirmation: I wanted to break up with Nathan. Catherine heard me out, her face stony and unyielding like a sphinx, as I presented my side. Finally, she sighed. "All I have to say," she said, her eyes fixed on the highway, "is that if you're going to break up with him, you better have your exit plan in place.
What if your future husband was a guy from your past, and finding him came with a deadline? That's the premise of The Ex List, a relationship dramedy premiering Oct. 3 that's based on a hit Israeli series. Elizabeth Reaser (last seen as Ava, Dr. Karev's patient-turned-lover on Grey's Anatomy) stars as the aptly named Bella Bloom, a florist who gets surprising news from a psychic. She's already dated "the one," and she's got a year to find him or she'll never marry. Is he a longtime love, a one-night stand, a boy she had a crush on in kindergarten? In the premiere, the ex is a hypersensitive musician (Eric Balfour) she dumped on his birthday seven years earlier, now an angry punk rocker. You can guess how that works out.
The National Enquirer says that Britney and Kevin are trying to reconcile via couples therapy. As awesome as that would be, can the Enquirer be trusted? That John Edwards thing really makes this a toughie. We'll just hope that they are and call it a day. Also, Billy Bob Thornton is still good buds with Angelina Jolie, per Billy Bob.
In Travis F. Smith's personal blog Unvarnished, he goes into detail about being blocked on Facebook. This specific entry of Smith's struck my fancy because just a few days ago, I was listening to my friend Sabrina talk about how a guy she used to hook up with just recently decided to block her on Facebook. Seriously? Seriously. Apparently, even though the guy claims he has absolutely no feelings for Sabrina whatsoever, and that she is in fact the one who feels a deep, emotional connection with him, he obviously can't handle seeing her in the online realm, which is why he felt the need to remove her from his friends list. Sounds to me like a child in denial.
Doesn't it seem like celebrities lives are in fast-motion? It may have to do with the fact that they are constantly being documented by the media; whether it be pictures from the paparazzi or reports from Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Depandi on E! News. Whatever the case may be, it feels like average human beings are in limbo and celebs are like rockets shooting off from outer space.
While working together with your ex may be difficult, if you have children involved Jann and Sheryl write that you must find a way to work together, regardless of your past history or experiences. Often cooperation requires a complete change of the way you think. "Since I had learned to be angry in my plight," writes Jann, "I decided I could learn not to be angry. Rather than rehearse all of the bad things in my head each morning, I made myself think about the good things—how happy I was to be married to my husband. How happy I was that the kids had accepted me and seem to be adjusting so well. Everyone was healthy. Every time a bad thought come to my mind about Sheryl I pushed it out and replaced it with a more positive thought about my life."
I always seem to find myself attracted to men with vengeful ex-girlfriends. My boyfriend during college had an ex-girlfriend who was so bitter about my existence that she decided to enact revenge not only on him by spreading lies to all their friends, but she also took out her aggression on me by taking the most unflattering photos of me at a campus party — where I may or may not have been participating in a Flip Cup beer championship — and sending them over campus email for a menagerie of people to view. Why do I have this problem? Am I attracted to the wrong kind of man — the type that loves you and then breaks you? Or have all the men in my life really dated women who my girlfriends and I like to refer to as "psycho" as we sit around and dissect their mutated personalities? My guess is both — I have always tended to fall for men who are charmers but that still doesn’t explain the all-consuming hatred the exes have toward the guy or myself.
You know the story: after a breakup, one of the parties involved wants to "be friends." Generally this is the lesser-wounded party speaking, and generally the budding friendship becomes one of two things: wilted or messy. The 4-Way Panel from Divine Caroline recently tackled this issue for a woman who wrote in hoping to understand the feelings of jealousy that arise when her "ex-turned-friend" talks about her dates with other women. The panel foursome, one of each gender and sexual orientation, unsurprisingly had some varying viewpoints on the woman's dilemma.