We're giving the big bedroom to our kids. It seems a little counterintuitive, but by squeezing our bed into the closet-like second bedroom, it gives us an outside shot at an adult space.
It started two and half years ago when I left my full-time job to work for myself. My wife was already a Realtor working from the house, and I made the transition so I could participate more in my son’s life. Now, my wife and I are WAHPS (Work at Home Parents) and we make it work. Here are some of the benefits for us.
Being close to 4th of July, I think about America, and the "American Dream". Images come to mind of people making a way for themselves, conquering the Wild West, unknown uncharted territories... Somehow it seems that we miss part of the American Dream today. The adventure of a great marriage – the building of that relationship, and not knowing whats around the bend... As soon as we hit a rough patch – it seems that the easiest thing to do is cut and run. But I want that American Dream. I want to celebrate 40 years of love and life with the woman I married. I want my grandchildren to show up at my 63rd anniversary with their kids. I believe its possible.
My wife is addicted to porn—real estate porn. See, we live in less than 500 square feet. With a toddler and a baby, both of whom are growing rapidly, alongside their also-growing piles of stuff. We have a north-facing balcony that gets no sun until late afternoon, if at all. Plus, we live on the first floor, and have to deal with crowds from the Swedish national soccer stadium down the street. So she dreams a bit. Fantasizes. And the big newspaper here in Sweden gives her all the real estate porn she needs.
When you have small children, you have little control over your life. My wife and I feel this as much as anyone. We live in less than 500 square feet with a 3-year-old and a 15-month-old. We've moved across the Atlantic twice since we got married five years ago. We've endured serious health issues and two kids who just refuse to sleep. And yet we are (barely) sane. Here are 3 slightly counterintuitive, Zen-inspired reasons why.
My firstborn is cautious and a bit of a hypochondriac. My preteen intuitively spontaneous. I was prepared, with two kids, that each might share some of each parent's tendencies, and have differing temperaments of their own. What I didn't count on was that their personality differences, so clear to me, wouldn't register with my husband.
My wife and I bed hop. No, not like that. Rather, we hop from our big bed to a toddler bed to a mattress on the floor of the living room. We hop from kid to kid, from the toddler to the baby and back. We stumble past each other in the night carrying our children, each of us sleeping in as many as three different beds on any given night. You see, we co-sleep. And co-sleeping is hard.
The long-standing theory is that there are major health benefits for the marrieds of the world—they tend to live longer, healthier lives. But new research is showing that this “marriage benefit” does not extend to those that are unhappily married, divorced, or widowed.
We’ve been married for 13 years and during this time we’ve learned that just about everything we’ve expected from love and marriage is the opposite of our actual lives. We’ve discovered there’s no such thing as happily-ever-after so we’ve opted for the more realistic “ever after.” We may not be blissed out every minute of the day, but in our “ever after,” we're raising a kid together we madly adore, we’re cracking each other up, and as far as we can tell there isn’t anyone else we’d rather spend our lives with. It’s in this spirit of lowered expectations that we’d like to share a few of things we’ve gleaned from our relationship.
Poll: Does Your Sweetie Ever Drive You Crazy?: Push his/her buttons right back. Ignore it. My sweetie would never push my buttons on purpose! Sweetly ask him why he's doing THAT THING THAT IS SO ANNOYING?! Tell him he's bugging me and politely ask him to stop.