Why does good sex fade even among couples who continue to love each other? Why does good intimacy not guarantee good sex? Can we want what we already have? These are just a few of the questions posed and considered by therapist and author Esther Perel in a lecture entitled "The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship."
There is a pervasive notion in American culture that lying between spouses is inherently problematic. But could it be an act of caring?
Esther Perel answers a question about sexual phobias.
Learn to Cultivate Desire and Bring Creativity to Your Relationship
When couples set out to create their family, very few of them give consideration to the changes that take place in the bedroom after the kids are born. For many of the couples I see, the joy of having children is diminished by the loss of their marital and sexual connection. Watch as I explain how you can re-create the eroticism in your marriage and connect with your partner on a deeper, more meaningful level.
We asked the top love experts to give the final word on the most-asked relationship and dating questions. In this episode of "The Final Word," we asked them how you know when someone loves you.
Join Esther Perel & YourTango to find out!
Esther answers a question about sexual frequency in committed relationships.
Couples who struggle to keep their relationship sexy (and if there's a couple out there that doesn't struggle with this, please stand up) often find themselves at a loss for solutions. All of the elements are there: love, trust, intimacy. Only the passion is lacking. Cue revolutionary couples therapist Esther Perel. She will tell you things like "More intimacy can lead to less sex" and "The fear of loss is essential to love." Her frank talk for couples looking to reignite their passion has made her a semi-celebrity, and she's appeared on Oprah and the Today show to discuss her acclaimed book, Mating in Captivity. And now, for the price of an hour-long therapy session, you can get Perel for an entire day.
Saturday Night Live this weekend had a few quite bright points. One of them was Grady Wilson. Kenan Thompson's character wants to help save your marriage. And he introduces several techniques help bring the fire back.
Kind of like drinking or driving underage, part of having sex outside of a committed relationship is the thrill that comes with doing something illicit. Cue Tango's favorite therapist Esther Perel and other experts hoping to pull marriage's reputation out from under its passionless, restrictive shell through greater communication and understanding. Weiss quotes one friend who says: “Do middle-aged, married women who are no longer interested in having sex with their husbands expect them to remain faithful?" The response, according to American mores, is "yes," though this is at odds with biology. Evolutionary biology's poster child should be the transgender man quoted in the article, who underwent a sex change after 50 years as a woman. He told Weiss that since taking testosterone supplements, he's noticed "a newfound ability to completely divorce sexuality from emotional commitments."
