Who doesn't want better and more hot sex? But contrary to what you might think, a great roll in the hay doesn't come from how-to books or crazy sex positions. Instead, a real and genuine connection with your partner allows you to let loose and let the magic happen. These experts show you how.
Let's start with the idea that the point of marriage is emotional connection. A long lasting marriage needs to foster trust and acceptance of each other's emotional tender spots. No wonder they say marriage is work. We get tired of our own issues, so why not tired of another's?
Do you ever wish you had a 'marriage cheat sheet'? ... a few 'easy to remember' tips that would help keep your love strong? In a world that squeezes out fun and crams in more demands ... what are the secrets of those that stay 'in love' and those that 'fall out of love'? In a recent love and marriage survey of over 8,000 participants over 50, couples who were the happiest shared these tidbits ...
Just walk on by. At least he said that before I moved away for college. Four years of forlorn was enough. I must have unconsciously known that to break a bad love pattern required exiling myself from Aidan. I wanted to turn him into a memory of a love that never was. Better yet, a person that never was in my life. An extreme solution broke a pattern and resulted in a split.
It really hurts when the person you love is focused more on “being right” rather than really understanding you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our legitimate needs for connection will not be adequately met by our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs at the expense of our partner. A normal human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending and focusing on being right rather than really listening. We can get caught up in terrible cycles of withdrawing from or demonizing each other. The battle lines are often around libido, child rearing, money, jealousy, etc.
Do you find it hard to let yourself be vulnerable? Fear of intimacy is the main reason people do not open up emotionally with another person. There are a range of emotions and behaviors that can enhance the intimacy, or deepening, of your relationship.
If you ask most couples what the key to success is, they will probably tell you it’s communication. Even if you do not consider yourself particularly good at communicating, the good news is that it is a skill that can be learned, and by trying to become a better communicator, you do nothing but improve relationships – with loved ones, friends and co-workers. Below are several suggestions for strengthening the health of your relationships through good communication.
Think back to a time when you felt really close and connected with your partner — a time when you felt emotionally intimate with him or her. Think about a time when you felt light and playful with your partner, or a time when laughter flowed easily, or a time when you felt you could tell your partner your deepest secret and it would be accepted.
On a first date or a first encounter with someone, the objective is usually to get to know someone better which will hopefully lead to a second date. Despite what Sex and the City episodes told us over the years, generally an afternoon coffee date does not end up with an impromptu sex fest.
Connection with the people who are important to us is a vital need for all of us. Our brains are hard-wired to share love and connection with others. Many of us know that infants and children need a loving connection with their parents to thrive, and that many emotional problems result when this connection is not available.