Celebrating Mother's Day as a single mom is not the same as when you were a married mom. And when you're going through a divorce, you might be tempted to just sit out this holiday ... but don't! Recreating these traditions after divorce is important to reassure your kids that you are still a family (even if you and your spouse have split).
How do parents relax? When it comes to this question, married parents may have something to learn from divorced parents. An expert explains what she calls "divorce's dirty little secret."
"You don’t have to be in love with your spouse to co-parent. You have to be in love with your “children” to co-parent!" I hate her for what she has done to us! I hate him for what he has done to us! STOP! WAIT! LISTEN! Can I interrupt you for a moment and remind the both of you that your DIVORCE is not only about you but also about your “children” and how they are going to survive it. It is perfectly normal to be angry, hurt and outraged at your spouse for the divorce or separation.
Dear Ms. Smith, You don't know me, so let me introduce myself. I'm a therapist who has been working with and writing about blended families for over a decade. As such, I felt compelled to respond to the letter that you wrote to your stepmom friend on your Facebook page on February 16th.
1. Think of the future. Because someday you may be walking your daughter down the aisle together, sitting with your ex at your child’s college graduation or waiting outside the delivery room as your grandchild is born, don’t make things worse than they already are. In fact, over time, strive to improve the co-parenting relationship. Parenthood is forever. It transitions right into grandparenthood, regardless of divorce.
These days, with the divorce rate hovering close to 50%, the likelihood of dating a man with children is pretty high. As I discuss in Dating the Divorced Man, dating a divorced dad has many unique challenges that you won’t face with childless men. However, don’t be too quick to toss out that cute dad’s phone number, as each divorced dad is different and you may find one you really connect with.
Parents are expert Jugglers. With all the balls to keep in the air - from academics to sports, social events to finding time to sit down together for a meal - its no wonder we get into playing the Blame Game with a spouse or co-parent when something from our schedule *Splats* on the ground. There IS another way. Effectively implementing one single tool is a sure-fire way to save you friction with your fellow co-parent (current or ex), and have you and your family accomplishing more with less stress.
Are you divorced? The new year is a perfect opportunity to start fresh. Here's how.
So what are the chances that overt anger and power struggles between divorced parents won't be painful for the kids? Close to zip.
I’ve often found the title “co-parenting” somewhat of a humorous irony, a conundrum. Think about it. Here you have two people that just went through an emotionally hurtful process of divorce and in many instances despise each other. Then it is suggesting that they be calm enough to have a mature conversation about parenting. It’s like the democrats and republicans suddenly compromising to prevent the fiscal cliff after four years of resentment.
I am a firm believer that divorce can be a really wonderful thing for children as they no longer have to put up with a relationship that is going sour day in, day out. There is however, a false assumption that children need to be with both parents, and I actually don’t think this is true either. Who is to say that staying in an unhappy marriage is less harmful as taking action to end it?
