The danger with making inner vows about parenting is that they inhibit normal growth: They cause extremes. After living in a strict environment, Will Smith has shared that his parenting style is the opposite of his father's: He doesn't believe in discipline and punishment.
The best advice I can offer you is to treat your husband the way you treat your kids when you want them to do something. Be mindful that behavior modification doesn't occur overnight, and that you'll need to tweak it to each husband individually.
If my belief is correct and our children model their behaviors on ours, then the little girl who was just standing in line at the grocery store next to me is going to grow up to be a major jerk.
The risk of this type of discipline is too great, and there are far better and less risky parenting methods than hitting. The folks in favor of hitting like that idea because it's easy and it makes the parents feel good, since they get to act out their frustration in a physical way. But it's bad for kids.
I had a tremendous childhood. Yes, I had moments when I hated my parents…those sobbing in your room mumbling barely audible statements like “I wiiiish shhhee would get hiiiiit by a buuuus and Diiiiiiiie!” Because I was asked to do the unthinkable and clean my room or do my math home work before I could go out with my friends. But all in all, I had it pretty good.
Imagine a scene where you ask your teen to pick up his clothes and he smiles and does it immediately. Does that sound too far-fetched. Maybe not, read on…. Every teen misbehaves at some point or another. From talking back and slamming doors to ditching class and using profanity. It’s normal for teens to want to feel independent, but it’s not acceptable for them to act out in a negative manner. Don’t go to the extreme, however — sending them off to boarding school isn’t the answer.
In a two-parent home, it's common for each of you to have different strengths and challenges when it comes to parenting. For example, one of you may be volatile, while the other is more even-tempered. Or maybe your partner is consistent with discipline and you are the 'soft touch'. This happens all the time! And then, of course, your teen manages to use it to his advantage.
Imagine a scene where you are laughing and having fun with the children in your life? Can you picture the joy you will feel when there is no stress or disharmony? Is it possible to have that quality time with your family and children in your circle of influence? You will think more positively after you have read these three easy steps to really enjoy children.
Suppose your child has left Legos all over the living room again! Can you picture the chaos? Can you feel yourself become frustrated immediately? Are your shoulders instantly stiffening just thinking about the scene and the consequences? And this was just pretend. What happens when you are right in the midst of inappropriate behavior? Ponder What Discipline Really Means
There are no secrets to being a ‘good’ parent. There are no truly “new” ideas out there. It’s all about a few basic principles: respect, responsibility, truth, flexibility, resilience, courage. Show it in words and actions so your kids know exactly how it looks and sounds. Those are the building blocks. Do them with greater and greater frequency and watch things change.
You know when you're lecturing. You can see it on your child's face. Or in the eye-rolling. Or in the sigh. But you keep going because now they're being disrespectful and you're going to make your point if it's the last thing you do! He knew what was coming in the first minute, well actually in the first sentence, and he's not interested in hearing any more.
