In the 43 years I have been counseling individuals, I have worked with many who have suffered from severe physical, emotional, and/or sexual abuse in childhood. Many of those who sought my help were suffering from fear and anxiety, depression, various addictions, relationship problems and sexual problems.
Depression isn't only hard for him — mood disturbances also have a big impact on your relationship. But how do you bring up the subject? As the saying goes, "People don't care what you know until they know that you care." So what can you do to help?
Dear Dr. Romance: What is wrong with me? Angry, sad, blah? It's 5 am and I'm still awake. I'm 29, single (I don't mind), I go to school, an ok job, pets. I'm not starving, as long at there's a roof over my head i'm good to go. So many things I really want to do. I get into it then I don't feel like it and do nothing. I sometimes feel a little bit of despair or sadness or anger not too often but enough. Then I go back to being 'ok' and all gung-ho about the future.
In this video, hypnotherapist, psychologist and YourTango Expert Dr. Shoshana Bennett addresses the complicated issue of how to manage your depression during pregnancy.
Wise parents understand the importance of giving their children both roots and wings. Children must learn to stand on their own two feet, to trust their own judgment, to pick up the pieces when they make mistakes and to chart the life course that makes sense to them. However, experience in my own life and my practice along with recent research says that living alone can actually cause depression.
Here's a listener question I received. Dear Maryanne, One of my best friends has been unhealthily obsessed with the same guy for almost four years (we're now seniors in college). They have hooked up intermittently over this time but have never been on a date or spent any platonic time together. He has never displayed any actual interest in her or her feelings despite it being incredibly obvious that she is very attached. She refuses to show interest in any other person.
Until 1994, if you wanted to view pornography, you had to get dressed, get in your car, drive to a seedy shop in a bad part of town and fork over hard-earned cash for an overpriced magazine ... all the while hoping not to be seen by the neighbor's teenage kid, your boss, the police or your spouse. Today, thanks to streaming video over the Internet and smart-phones, finding porn doesn't even require getting out of bed.
The European Cancer Research Center has called for an urgent review of aspartame and of the U.S. Food and Drug Administration’s (FDA) stance that Aspartame is not a carcinogen. The FDA does report however that 75 percent of the adverse reactions caused by food additives is caused by Aspartame. Aspartame is an artificial sweetener that is commonly called NutraSweet or Equal.
A number of years ago, I had dinner with a lovely couple whom I met through a mutual friend. I connected with Allison (not her real name) immediately. Warm and open, I could see that she was a deeply caring woman. On the other hand, her husband Ken, while overtly charming, had a huge black hole inside that felt like a vacuum cleaner sucking the energy out of everyone. His need for attention was overwhelming to me.
January and February don't have the happiest reputations, as far as months go. The short days and cold nights, the post-holiday hangover, the fact that summer is such a long time away... This can all take a toll on your relationship if you're not careful. The good news: There are many fun, easy ways to inject some fun into your relationship in the winter and keep from getting bored.
According to a recent study, January is the most depressing month of the year. In fact, a study of 1,000 couples in Britain found that in January, couples fight for more than eight minutes a day and have 20 arguments during the month, compared to about 15 fights in the other months.
"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." ~ William Gibson When I saw this quote on a friend's Facebook wall I laughed out loud with delight and recognition. It hit me on a subconscious level. Why did I like it so much? I couldn't tell you. It even seemed wrong that I, a psychologist, would like the idea of blaming depression on others. And then there was the swearing bit.
Whether or not researchers have Blue Monday (this year, today, January 13) pinned accurately as the most depressing day of the year, the winter months can be a particularly challenging time for those who struggle with depression. The cold weather, holidays and reduced daylight hours are enough to make anyone feel a little bit sad. But depression is so much more than just feeling sad. Depression is sadness and it’s hopelessness, fear, a paralyzing sense that this is how you’re going to feel forever, that this misery is never going to go away, things won’t get better. Then there’s the guilt: the guilt that comes from feeling like you’re failing everyone around you. Like you should be able to snap out of this and come back to life. Feeling like you’re letting everybody down.
Dear Dr. Romance: I don't want to be here anymore. Be here on this earth that is, be here in this ole' body of mine. Perhaps you can help. I think I'm simply looking for some inspiration. Also, when I think about no longer being "alive"... I am comforted. This feeling of calm comes over me. That's not a good sign, is it? I'm over fifty years old. I would have to admit I am sad and perhaps frustrated, and yes, maybe a little angry. I'm sure there are people out there who do love me, however, they seldom show it.
Do you feel more down in the fall and does it seem to be affecting your relationships? Is your partner more moody, or do you seem to fight a lot more?
When someone is depressed, they feel like there is nothing in the world that can make things better. When someone seeks help from a mental health professional, they are looking for something that is going to make it better. Whether this is medication or some type of inner discovery, there is still usually something missing. When someone is depressed it may be harder for them to tap into the discovery of themselves.
"My wife is so upset that I have to travel more on my new job," Chuck told me in our phone counseling session. "She feels so alone and lost when I'm gone. When I talk with her she is either crying or angry. I feel so badly and guilty but I don't know what to do." "Do you feel responsibility for her feelings?" I asked him. "Do you feel that you are the cause of her feelings?" "Yes."