don't date this pimp
You'd think a pimp wouldn't use online dating.
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Dating Disaster: Are You A "Businessman" Or A Pimp?

I have to be honest from the beginning and tell you that online dating has worked wonderfully for me. Eventually, I met my husband on one of these websites, but my way to heaven was paved with little demons. Actually, anyone who has ever tried online dating knows what a jungle you find out there.

Lady with a wiener dog
That's some wiener you got there, lady.
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Dating Disaster: I Will Not Sleep With Your Dog

It turns out that this really awesome, good-looking chick had a single flaw: the guy who liked her was not a big fan of dogs. Unfortunately, he got over his distaste for dogs around the time she decided she wasn't into him. That's just how it goes.

garbage dumpsters
"I like 'dirty' guys, but an actual aversion to bathing is not OK."
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Dating Disaster: He Smelled Like Hot Garbage

I have a type: the scruffy, sensitive man's man. A yoga epiphany about meeting this guy came through when I met Josh. After our first date, things were great. But two minutes into date number two, I realized I had a problem. Rather, Josh had a problem: he smelled really bad.

Dating Disaster: Two Girls, One Seaman
He was in the Navy, she was having fun.
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Dating Disaster: Two Girls, One Seaman

To most young men, the worst dating disaster is when you can't get any dates at all. However, mine had to be at least as traumatic. I had dates with two different young women for one New Year's Eve celebration.

that ump is blind
It's not my fault the umpire has poor eyesight, is it?
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Dating Disaster: The Baseball Heckler

I love baseball and when this handsome, successful guy asked me to a game I was thrilled. But a few beers and bad calls later, I was all over the umpire like white on rice. He did not take kindly to my abuse of the officials.

Dating Disaster: Yeah, The Crying Means He's Still Into His Ex
He wants her back.
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Dating Disaster: Yeah, The Crying Means He's Still Into His Ex

I was with my mum in the mall, when my mum wanted to go to the toilet, so I walked her there and waited outside. This guy came up to me and asked me if he could use my cell phone to call him own phone to check if it was working. Of course, I saw past that excuse and didn't hesitate as he was incredibly good-looking.

not a double date
Not everyone is gay in this picture.
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Dating Disaster: He Wasn't Gay And Thought It Was A Double Date

I usually don't go out with a guy I meet online before I see what he looks like. I usually ask to do camera to camera, but this time, I looked like a mess, so I exchanged numbers with one guy and we talked for 10 minutes through the phone. He seemed nice, so we arranged to meet the next day for coffee. We decided to meet in Jabal Amman in front of this nice, old café.

White Collar Criminal
Was this guy a Russian mobster?
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Dating Disaster: Was He In The Mob?

My type, blue-collar younger guys, was not paying any dividends. So, while at Starbucks I decided to go against my better instincts and chat with a more uptown kind of guy. He joked that he was in the witness protection program. Though I wasn't sure it was right for me, we set up a date. But that was before Google informed me that he might have been joking about witness protection...

Dating Disaster: My Date With A (Former) Suicide Girl
This, unfortunately, was not my date.
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Dating Disaster: My Date With A (Former) Suicide Girl

On a whim a few years ago, my friend Dave and I posted a YouTube video in which we invited women to double date us. In the months to follow, we would embark on over 200 double dates together, many of which would provide us with horror stories for our live comedy show. However, none were a bigger disappointment than one I experienced on my own.

Dating Disaster: He Froze My Match.com Account
He had her Match.com account frozen... how cold!
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Dating Disaster: He Froze My Match.com Account

When I first started online dating after my divorce at age 39, I was terrified. Not because I hadn't been on a date in almost two decades. Not because I hadn't so much as brushed up against a man in over a year, let alone been intimate with one. And not because I was worried about inadvertently hooking up with a serial killer. What I was terrified of was that people I knew would see my online profile and think I was a desperate loser.