![Dating & Relationship Advice: Red Flag Awareness! [EXPERT]](http://images.tangomag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/node-full/images/heartsign.jpg "Dating & Relationship Advice: Red Flag Awareness! [EXPERT]")
This topic may seem like a never ending & repetitive discussion amongst men & women today but there is a reason for that! Many people continue to ignore those spidey senses or better known as their gut intuition. We all want a relationship so badly that we will overlook so many of the obvious obstacles.
When Chris Brown smashed Rihanna's face up and bit her, there should have been no question about what a child learned from their parent. If you didn't reveal your opinion about her return, your silence is sending a message of acceptance. You have to come down heavy on violence against women being wrong and back it up with supporting actions — like telling your kids no buying Brown's music.
Today, we are certain of two things: 1. Censoring the web with the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) needs to be fought against, and 2. Rihanna and Chris Brown should not be hooking up.
Being in what I call a “pain cycle” is being in a love relationship where the pain of loving that person overtakes the positive aspects of the love you share. Examples of pain cycles are relationships where you feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster. Where you feel betrayed or your emotional and physical needs in love are not being met and you deeply suffer, as a result.
Every woman is working with the same pool of men. Say there are four billion men on Planet Earth. This is the pool of men that you have to work with. In this pool, there are going to be gentlemen, pimps, players, hustlers, and psychos. But, it’s the same pool of men. It’s not like the crazy men are coming from outside this pool. The question is, why do some women always attract the crazy men? The answer is you. You can either repel or invite these men into your life. The only reason you attract crazy men is because you talk to them.
Have you ever looked back over your past relationships and said to yourself "What the hell was I thinking?" As you honestly reflect on your past, you will see that the red flags were waving all around you. There was a chance you may not have picked up on them because you were blinded by what you thought was love. But if you get real with yourself, you will see that the red flags were there, waving right in front of your eyes, almost from the very beginning. But you chose to ignore them.
This two-part post is based upon my observations working with women who are leaving relationships where there is intimate partner violence; in my nonblogging life I am a domestic violence advocate, having completed an excellent training program required by the state where I live to do such advocacy.
Back in 1973 an important incident happened in Stockholm, Sweden. It is now known as the “Stockholm Syndrome” and it helped people in my field understand why people who live with a controller stay with them (even if they are victimized) and even protect them. The incident began when robbers broke into a bank and strapped explosives on their captives’ backs. The captives began to worry about the bank robber’s safety.
