Is it just us or was 2009 filled with screwy dates with men you'd never want to, well... Anyway. Right here, right now, it's time to throw down and end this vicious cycle of bad dates. Now that a new decade has dawned, here are 10 fellas I'm going to downgrade from black book to blacklist—and never allow to grace my single life again.
If there's one thing that redeems the whole terrible process of breaking up with someone, it's the potentially fun recovery period afterward. Don't get us wrong: Breakups are a sad, sorry business, and even the cleanest ones entail some kind of annoying consequence or follow-up, like adjusting to an empty bed or having to return that awesome space heater he left at your apartment. The key to making the most of your breakup is engaging in life-affirming activities: little things that will empower you start over and set out into the great unknown (singlehood - eek!) with courage and resilience. Resist binge-drinking, rebound guys or ex sex, and consider these fun post-breakup activities instead:
The New Year is off to a bittersweet start for Neenah Pickett. The New Jersey media consultant, 43, spent all of 2009 searching for love and not finding it. Still, Pickett emerged with hope and pride intact. At her Web site 52 Weeks 2 Find Him, she chronicled her dozens of dates and introduction to online dating and social networking sites—her message being that finding the love of your life should take work. "I did not put any effort into dating and went on two first dates in 14 years," she said of her past approach. "I thought, 'If I give all my effort like I do in my career and other areas of my life, will that make a difference?'"
How to find your Soul Mate in the next 90-days.
At the beginning of the month, blogger Lauren Leto wrote up a hilarious list of stereotypes, based upon the authors people most love to read. It's insulting, but we can't help nodding our heads and chortling because—you know what?—we judge others based on their writing abilities and book choices as well, especially when we're considering spending a lot of quality time with them in the future. Some prosal faux pas to avoid when it comes to the literal language of love?
Now love interests are texting/IMing/emailing, and, good lord, Facebooking each other. There are so many opportunities to be misunderstood! If I've learned anything from sex scandals, it's that texting somebody you're hoping to sleep with can be dangerous.
OK, so the guys aren't lining up around the block, and perhaps you find yourself at home—in front of the television. Rest assured, there are plenty of single guys on TV to sink your teeth into. So grab the remote, settle in, and find a great guy that will never cancel on you (um, unless the network steps in…). Sunday: Patrick Jane, The Mentalist (CBS, 9 PM). Played by Simon Baker, Jane is a weird, quirky never-plays-by-the-rules kind of guy who serves as a consultant to California Bureau of Investigation. He's like Monk—but extremely attractive. Monday: Damon Salvatore, Vampire Diaries (The CW, 9PM). Everyone seems to want to date his brother, but we're more interested in the dark, brooding (and sometimes evil) older sibling. Vampires Make Better Boyfriends
Wondering if a guy has long term potential? Chances are he's sending you blatant signals as to whether his "light is on" or not.
Amy Spencer is a dating expert and the author of Meeting Your Half Orange: An Utterly Upbeat Guide to Using Dating Optimism to Find Your Perfect Match (out in February 2010, Running Press). We asked her the dating questions that continue to baffle us.
The year's best date movies. We had to see them in theaters. Now, as these movies are slated to start appearing on DVD, we're itching to watch them again, this time cozied up on the couch with our best guy or gal. Check out our list and tell us what films we may have missed.
Dr. Diana Kirscher answers the age-old question of when is the appropriate time in a relationship to have sex.
