April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Dan Savage's new MTV show "Savage U" premiered last night. Italian "Vogue" editor talks eating disorders. One woman, two men. 10 reasons to date the boy you grew up with. 6 places to have sex around the house.
Last week I listened to a clip of Dan Savage, syndicated columnist of an article titled “Savage Love.” He was talking about how to make it work when you’re in a long term relationship. One of the things he suggested was to notice the best version of your partner. He said that long term relationships survive when each partner insists on noticing the best version of their partner, even when their partner isn’t displaying that particular version of themselves. It’s excellent advice, and it got me thinking.
Erica Jong, known best for her book “Fear of Flying” is waxing poetic in the Sunday New York Times about what has happened to the sex lives of the younger generation. According to Jong, younger women are yearning for the nostalgia of a 50’s era happily ever after notion of monogamy, marriage and motherhood. Jong says it’s a kind of rebellion and a desire for control.
With each new sex scandal splashed across headlines, it's become impossible to hide from the realities of marriage, i.e., monogamy is hard. And with so many high-profile persons seemingly shirking fidelity, it's easier for couples unsatisfied in their relationship to start wondering if these cheating politicians just may have the right idea. It's these concerns and questions that The New York Times Magazine took on when reaching out to leading sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage for their recent exploration of monogamy and marriage.
Being a parent is hard enough as it is, much less being a gay celebrity with kids. Ask anyone with children, and more likely than not they will admit being a parent isn’t easy. Now just imagine managing the stress of taking care of your child’s basic needs and nailing that Oscar role while finding the best surrogate mother possible or depending on the country, even fighting laws to have your marriage recognized in order to adopt.
Dan Savage is a journalist for The Stranger; he writes an advice column called Savage Love. I recently had the pleasure of watching a video clip of him, and I now think I’m in love. He was talking about swinging and non-monogamy, and I know I found a kindred spirit. Here are a few of the points he made, along with my own thoughts about the subject.
What do you do when your man doesn't know how to treat you the way you want to be treated in bed? In this week's Savage Love, a young woman writes to Dan Savage about her desire for rough sex and her new boyfriend's seeming inability to give it to her. In order to remedy the situation, the woman has hatched a scheme: have a threesome with her new boyfriend and her ex-boyfriend, so that the new boyfriend can learn the basics of bondage, rape fantasies, etc. The new boyfriend, she tells Dan, is totally on board with the plan. Nonetheless, she can't help but wonder: "Am I being a selfish bitch?" and "Is it a bad sign that he's not satisfying me sexually after three months?"
"I'm a female college student and a feminist. I expect equal pay, equal treatment, and fairness when it comes to chores at home. But I have fantasies of domestic discipline. Some days, I'd like to rush home and clean the apartment and make dinner for my boyfriend wearing only an apron. Then I'd appreciate it if he'd find some excuse--something I did wrong--to spank me until I cry before having wild sex with me." Girlfriend harbors some serious 1950s housewife "Betty Crocker" fantasies, but realizes she doesn't want her relationship to be all Betty Crocker, all the time. The cooking/cleaning/apron-wearing/spanking is a heightened form of foreplay for her, but it looks so much like reality (rather, some people's reality) that she's fearful her guy is going to blend the fantasy into real life