I got a question from a woman today who wanted to know what men think about during intimacy. Specifically, she wanted to know if men “think about the love handles or the Jelly belly or all the other imperfections that are just staring at (them)?” Of course, we can assume this question applies to any other perceived “imperfection” which is ironic when you consider that “perfection” is a mental construct anyway that varies anyway both person-to-person and over time. But let’s address the specifics...
We hear it all day long screaming from Shape Magazine and Cosmo. We hear it on the radio all day long. We see and hear the messages all day long when we watch the news or prime time t.v. We are not smart enough. We are not rich enough. We do not have 6 pack abs. We are not thin or athletic enough. Our boobs are too big. Our boobs are too small. You name it, we hear it and see it all day long. (Another blog I wrote called "Are you too fat to wear lingerie? Hell No!")
I went on a date the other week with a pair of hot Swedish volleyball players with galactic hoots and bodies so taut that quarters bounce off bellies. These buxom hotties could easily have graced the pages of Brodawg Magazine, posing in the rain, wearing only leather belts. As they were putting on their heels to join me in the champagne jacuzzi, it occurred to me that these phantasmagorical sirens weren't doing it for me. Then I woke up with both of my arms in my pant legs. Cursed margaritas, so tequila-y and delicious.
Simply put, overweight people can count on having more and better sex if they lose weight. Weight gain causes a number of hormones to get all wacky and lower libido. It also is a leading cause of erectile dysfunction. Losing weight makes junk look more majestic. And obviously, feeling more desirable and fit definitely cranks up the confidence and that's the sexiest thing of all.
Last month during an intimate girls' night in, I publicly posed the question that many overweight women wonder but never say aloud: "Is someone only going to marry me to get US citizenship?" I don't mean to knock cross-cultural love, but the fear I'd always had confronted me a few days before. A woman I knew, a good-looking gal with a great job and also about a hundred excess pounds, just got engaged to a weird-looking guy who I don't think speaks English. And, apparently, my fears are pretty commonplace among bigger gals.