How celebrating Halloween brought us closer as a couple.
Throughout our marriage, the tradition of the Halloween spreadsheet has helped us make the holiday our own. Thanksgiving and Christmas are constant negotiations in family demands and time management, but Halloween is all ours to enjoy. Together we carve pumpkins, play games and fuss over the spreadsheet. Often we are invited to parties, but we turn them down. Halloween is our night. And we do allow devils and witches, and all too often my pumpkins are sinister, but I understand now why my parents held so tightly to their traditions of Halloween. And no matter how crazy my future kids think the Halloween spreadsheet is, I going to make them do it.
New statistics about divorce and marriage are out. Plus, 7 other links we love.
Every week, Traditional Love rounds up the best links and thought provoking articles on love and marriage. This week, we are talking about the new marriage and divorce rates and what exactly do they say (or not say) about the current state of love in America? Also, October marks the beginning of YourTango's 31 Day Sex Challenge, which challenges you to make your love life better this month. Find out what you can do to your sex life in 31 days.
A Western woman witnesses a traditional Muslim wedding in Qatar.
We edged to the back of the room and took in the scene. It must have taken teams to concoct the topiary-like hairdos and apply the rich colors to the women’s faces. From the array of outfits it appeared we were in a cafeteria for extras from different movie sets. A distinctly Western accent interrupted my thoughts. "Have one," a young woman said, motioning to a pile of sticky, honey-glazed deserts on the table next to where we stood. "Dinner won’t get started for hours." She was costumed and made up like a belly dancer, her long gleaming hair flowing straight down her back. In the U.S. this would have been a wildly slutty costume at a Halloween party, but among these women she looked tame.
Despite her conservative upbringing, one women decides to kiss courtship—not dating—goodbye.
My family wasn't the only one caught up in this idea of courtship. In the wake of the publication of I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris, a whole generation of Christian conservatives were booting modern dating out the door. There were rallies and conferences where we jammed out to Christian music and cheered when a speaker said things like, "Dating is of the devil!" or "No kissing before marriage!" We sighed when we heard stories about a couple sharing their first kiss on their wedding day. We weren't just pledging our virginity, we were pledging to stay away from dating, hand-holding, kissing and the opposite sex. We were pledging to prepare ourselves to be good wives by staying submissive to our parents until the day they handed us over to our husbands.
In California the issue of marriage isn't being decided by couples, but by a judge.
Across the country couples face the tough decision: to marry or not to marry. But in California that decision is being left up to a judge. A federal judge can't order that people change their minds, however. No court can. Essentially, who is responsible for making important decisions about marriage?
When it comes to love in the classroom, what are the rules?
Lyz On Love is a weekly round-up of internet news about love and relationships and all those other indoor sports. This week on Lyz On Love, I am talking about love and the classroom. In the video, I confess to dating a classmate, who turned out to just be using me to make his ex girlfriend jealous. Sadly, she never became jealous. Was it my sweet 90s suspenders or stylish newsboy caps? We will never know. But what was left out of the video, was that I ended up using him to drive around in his convertible and egg people's houses. (I sure hope there is a statute of limitations on those confessions). So, in the end, that relationship worked out for me.
I also dated another classmate, this time in college. He just played the guitar and World of Warcraft. A. Lot. But he did make me some sweet mix CDs. I think it lasted a month. There is only so much you can do in a relationship that is based on video games and Ben Harper covers.
I'm a Democrat. He's a Republican. Our child is in utero and we are already worried.
I recognize that parenthood is a journey filled with responsibility and challenges far greater than political quibbling. I also realize, that in the end, the political choices of our child are not up to us, but up to that squirming little fetus, who is currently making me puke and want to eat jars and jars of caramel ice cream topping. And yet, I am worried about what we will teach our child about conflict and resolution though our political wranglings. Will our child grow up to be polarized? Afraid of confrontation? Apathetic? Or will our child learn to build consensus and disagree with respect and love?
Are Christian sex toys hot or too holy? And other links we love.
Every week, Traditional Love rounds up the best love and relationships news with a traditional slant. This week, there was a lot of sexy activity happening among the holies. Check it out, plus 7 other links (and a video) we love this week.
A woman going through divorce learns a lesson in love from a traditional culture.
Qatar is a Muslim country and most of the women I met had been brought up in sex-segregated households and educated in sex-segregated schools. Prior to joining our co-educational campus, the only members of the opposite sex they'd encountered were relatives. I found their various attitudes about marriage quite jarring.