The truth is, all marriages are only as good as the people in them, which is to say, they aren't that great at all. But do our inherent imperfections make marriage and monogamy a dying societal institution? No. Reports of marriage's demise have been greatly exaggerated. No ring, no dress and no promise, can make a person or relationship perfect. And sometimes it takes the rose colored glasses being smashed to smithereens, before we can accept and love what we have in an open and honest way. And while 2010 has been part of that destruction, in a small way it's also contributed to our acceptance of love as it is, not as we want it to be.
My husband came with me to pick out a tree and he put it up in the stand for me. But then he sat down on the couch, turned on the TV and tuned me and my good tidings out. I, of course, responded by getting upset. And then I was upset because I was upset on Christmas. It was all downhill from there. Three hours later, I had decorated the tree amid gripes, nags and sniffles, and I wasn't feeling any sort of goodwill toward men.
While you may have differing ideas of when and what to tell your kids about the big elf in the red suit. Having the talk about Santa is a time to come together as a couple and a family. And, no matter your experience with Mr. Claus, telling your kids the truth about Santa can be an opportunity to strengthen your relationship. Here are some things you can consider together as a couple to help ease the pain:
My fiancé’s new job had taken him about 90 minutes from where he was living and moved him to my home state. We had a few options: find an apartment for him until we later found a home, buy a house quick, or accept my parents’ offer to let us stay with them. They wanted to help us save money for our wedding and a future house, which was a huge gift on their part. And living with my parents wasn’t as weird as you may think
Traditional Love was nominated as a finalist, in The Marry Blogger's Top-Ten Marriage Blog awards. So head on over to The Marry Blog and vote for us. We are among some pretty awesome contenders, so this week's link round-up includes some of the best posts from the finalists and of course some zany marriage news, that I know you need.
It's easy to get caught up in the holiday rush and lose sight of what really matters. No wonder so many people feel so stressed during what should be one of the best times of the year. But ultimately, what matters most isn't getting the best deal, it's taking time out from our busy lives and celebrating with friends and family. So, while it may be a cliche, it's still true. The holidays aren't about commercialism, they're about being thankful for what we have. This is a season for miracles, big and small--the birth of a savior, an oil lamp that burned for eight days, and the love of family. And the best part is that those things don't require you to stand in line in the cold at three in the morning on a Friday.
Because homes, Sarah Susanka writes in The Not So Big House, require both private and open spaces. "Sometimes we feel like being with others, and other times we need solitude." Our home lacked a private place where we could cocoon ourselves to repair after a stressful day. Even our master bath, without a door to close off the toilet, had become a sort of public gathering spot. And not a very sanitary one. How can you sort through what you feel when there's no separation?
I want my husband to help feed our baby. What I didn't expect was the incredulity people expressed when I told them I wanted my husband to be involved with the feeding of our child and, if that means we supplement with formula, then so be it. This decision has nothing to do with me shirking my duties as a parent, and it's not a way to somehow coerce my husband into more late nights than are his due. I just really want him to share in the fun of feeding time.
While the Pew Research data had many people ringing the death knell for marriage, those headlines don't tell the whole story. Dr. Corey Allan, family and marriage therapist and Traditional Love blogger noted, "The recent reporting of the Pew Research doesn't share the whole story when it comes to marriage. If you simply report the reverse of what was actually reported you'll read that six in 10 people believe marriage is not obsolete. And you'll read that 70% are optimistic about marriage and family life.
Each week, Traditional Love rounds up the best (and worst) marriage news from the week. And this week, has plenty of both. Not only are we all in a tizzy over the next royal wedding, but apparently, all this fuss over the dress is just fluff (of the tulle variety). According to a Pew Research poll, 40% of Americans think marriage is obsolete. So, why do we care so much about Kate and Will's fairytale romance?
Not everyone has the blessing of good in-laws. Many spouses still may feel like they must compete against their in-laws for the time and attention of their spouse. This is especially true during the first few years of marriage. Fortunately, I’ve been blessed with great in-laws. But this didn’t just happen by chance. They had to learn this skill, as did I. Like it or not, the in-laws are part of your life. And the holidays are often one of the most difficult times to navigate the in-law waters
I married a man who invented the strong-silent type. He is quiet, logical and often taken aback by my less logical more emotional responses to issues such as him eating the last cookie or telling me that maybe I might look better in another outfit. And while he gets how to do our taxes and exactly how dew point relates to airplanes leaving trails in the sky, he doesn't get that sometimes, I need to know how he feels about an issue and "nothing" is not an emotion. Curiously, it took a mutual affection for the show Dexter, which chronicles the life of a serial killer trying to function in a normal relationship, to get my husband to open up.
It's true that having gays in the military is not a novel concept. Israel, for one, allows open homosexuality in the military, and some military intelligence units are known to have large numbers of gay soldiers. And history is replete with examples of homosexuality and military service. In Plato's Symposium, Phaedras writes that "no man is such a craven that the influence of Love cannot inspire him with a courage that makes him equal to the bravest born." The idea was that a soldier would fight more strongly for someone they were in love with than someone they weren't. Which, when you think about it, explains why all the Spartans in "300" ran around in loincloths. (And yes, I quoted Plato… gotta use that expensive liberal arts education for something…)
Every week, Traditional Love rounds up some of the best links to marriage and relationship news from around the web. This week, we're talking about the premier of Teen Mom and whether society is more likely to judge younger moms than older mom and can Skype really save a realtionship? It did for Kendra Wilkenson. And while we did run our own story on the show Sister Wives, we're obsessed with these non-traditional traditional relationships. Would you take on a second spouse if your faith required it?
My husband's brothers are fundamentally different from me. They talk guns, hunting, fishing, baseball and the intricacies of making lures. I like to talk about books or tell the story I heard about an old woman hiding her scandalous photos in her safety deposit box (true story). To bridge that communication gap, I make my brother-in-laws pies. An apple pie is the universal language for, "I think fishing lures are boring, but you are awesome."
I would and have dated someone of opposite politics and in fact, dear reader, I married him. (10 points to the person who names that literary reference.) I am not going to lie and say that we never talk about politics and things are hunky dory. Because, we literally cannot watch a political debate together without glaring at each other from opposite ends of the couch and then someone sneaking out to eat all the Cheetos, just to make the other person upset. Those were my Cheetos! While, politics are important to both of us, but even more important is the fact that we agree that Skittles are a superior candy and that the movie theater smells like a wet gym sock. These are the pillars of a relationship. Not all that values and morals crap.