The summer solstice is here and if ancient tradition proves right, today could be the best day of the year for romance, whether you're in a relationship or hoping to meet "the one."
I usually catch up on my leisure reading when I travel. Lately I’ve indulged in books about the history of sex, but it’s even more rewarding to find sexy history in non-sexy books. The History of White People by Nell Irvin Painter is fascinating. Not that I’m a history buff At. All., but it would appear that she’s a super thorough researcher. For example, this tidbit struck me….
Being "too thin" may sound like a problem most women would give anything to have, but my reality is different. My culture places a greater emphasis on being curvy. I didn't realize the irony of my "problem" until I started working in a predominantly caucasian office. Most of my coworkers with were obsessed with being skinny. It was strange to me; all of these women were struggling for a body like mine, but when I looked at them, I secretly wished I were their size.
We live in an orgasm-focused society. Orgasm is perceived as the proverbial icing on the already tasty sexual cake. Despite our misguided notion that orgasm is the primary reason to have sex, when it comes to women, it is no sure thing. There are many obstacles that can undermine a woman's capacity to achieve orgasm.
In my opinion, this concept is the product of western civilization which assumes that you simply have to find your “true love”, progress your way through to the wedding ceremony; then you are primed to live “Happily Ever After”. The main emphasis is on the choice: you choose “The Right One”, later in the courtship you might be confronted with complications, but undoubtedly everything will quickly turn into roses at the “I do.”
Sexual stereotypes are everywhere. We see them in commercials, where happy moms dance around their homes in celebration of a functional mop. We see them in movies, where stoic male heroes are still rescuing clueless heroines. We see them on sitcoms, where single women dream of getting their boyfriends to settle down, and lazy husbands just want to watch sports.
Love triangles can be traced back to their ancient roots in Camelot, where Queen Guinevere was forced to choose between King Arthur and Sir Lancelot. From there, history, literature and movies have been rife with tales of one unfortunate (and usually stunningly beautiful) woman's choice between two ridiculously handsome men.
Living in a foreign country and enjoying a cross-cultural relationship can be one of the most rewarding — and challenging — experiences one could ever imagine. I never thought I'd be in one when I first went to France in my early twenties. However, the universe had other plans when in my first week of classes I laid eyes on the man who would be my husband for 27 years.
The pop star is taking her lovelorn anthems—including her new single "Sparks Fly"—across the country in one of the biggest tours this summer, but her lyrics seem to have gotten a little help from a literary predecessor. Can you guess which lines are by the young songstress and which were penned by the "Pride and Prejudice" author?
I’m guessing that The Girl Who Let Me had been looking at the mountains, waiting for a boy, any boy, to come along. I wish I could remember her name. I said hello, and she said hello, and I said I lived up the road—not mentioning that I was one of the weird missionaries, though later she told me she knew who I was because her uncle disapproved of us Schaeffers and said so. Anyway, that first day she didn’t ask awkward questions. I asked her where she was from, and she answered Paris, and then, with a sudden flash of inspiration, I asked her if she’d like to go for a walk because the crocuses were still blooming only a fifteen-minute hike up the steep path. She said yes!
Do you and your spouse use a single, joint checking account? Or do you choose to keep separate bank accounts? Have you considered the alternatives? I was frankly surprised at the responses I’ve heard to these questions over the past week or so. And I was really shocked at the emotional reaction that many have in defending the structure of their family finances.
Every week we can manage, Traditional Love rounds up the best articles on the web about love and marriage and this week we found some doozies. NPR criticizes The Bachelor's choice of brides (oh snap!) and Stephanie Coontz calls marriage the "catalyst for divorce" and former child star Melissa Gilbert tries to recussitate her 16-year marriage. Phew. That, and more. What were you talking about this week?
This week, in order to distract us from high gas prices and impending revolution in the Middle East and Wisconsin, we learned a lot about Facebook and your marriage from The Social Media Couple. Also, how does Newt Gingrich explain his marriage and infidelity. In fact, how does anyone explain infidelity? Good luck with that one, Newt. Finally, what do you think about pre-marital counseling? Let us know by taking our survey.
We kissed for the first time after a techno party. I had covered my face in an invisible paint that glowed under a black light, and after all the guests left, the paint slowly covered her lips and face. I thought kissing was like licking an ice-cream cone, which is probably why she kept laughing as she taught me what to do, and a lot of what not to do, with my awkward tongue and teeth and lips. At sunrise I walked Jess home, grateful and covered in glow paint, surprised by how different she looked outside the thrill of the ultraviolet light.
In every marriage, divorce is contemplated at least once. Although, I suspect, in the best marriages it's considered three times a week. For one bickering couple, divorce was not only contemplated, but they tried it out in a dress rehersal of sorts and what they found out was they liked marriage better. That's what we are talking about this week, rehearsing divorce,, giving it up for Lent and whether marriage is a hellish trap designed to enslave gifted woman. *Cue evil laugh*
First, I had to free myself, to realize it was okay to put myself first sometimes, that I had a right to life too. "Can you watch the kids tonight?" I'd ask Matt, slipping on earrings, off for a night out with girlfriends. Soon I started dressing better during oppressive Minnesota winters; thinking more; feeling engaged mentally even when I wasn't. Because as my peer group stretched, I got support, ears to listen, voices that identified; I didn't depend solely on Matt for validation or appreciation. And through that I found my voice.
If you or someone you know lives in a state of constant drama, trauma, chaos and suffering, it IS possible to change. It’s not going to happen overnight though. It will take time, and you will have to learn how to enjoy happiness and other positive emotions, to really feel the fullness and excitement that comes with feeling GOOD.