Times are tough right now and holidays are right around the corner and so are lots of expenses. Every one of us is scratching our heads and trying to figure out ways to bring in some extra cash. You may need extra money to buy gifts or just to pay the rent.
by Panty Parade / Off Go the Panties Drunken dialing while stone, cold sober may sound like an anomaly, but I assure you, it does occur. The moments when I’m all alone and wishing I was not and trying to make the best of the situation with my moist fingers or vibrating toy sneak up and take hold. I get it in my head that it’s a good idea to reach out to a lover or friend to see if he could come over. Maybe we could hang out and drink a few beers?
by Panty Parade / Off Go the Panties Waking up disoriented in a strange hotel room sounds like the beginnings of an urban legend. Maybe it was because I hadn’t had all that much to drink the night before OR maybe because my dog was there beside me OR maybe because my host had left hours earlier—but I did not find WELCOME TO AIDS scrawled in lipstick on the bathroom mirror or a stranger soaking in an ice-filled bathtub with a recently removed kidney. I did find a few spent condoms in the trash.
If you ever find yourself completely bored AND horny AND without a date on a night when you REALLY want a date . . . . Then I sort of recommend checking out the Craigslist personals. Mind you, this is not a full fledge referral. In fact, based on my recent experience with answering a dozen advertisements on CL, I would have to say I’m only mildly lukewarm, half-heartedly encouraging you to try it. Want to know why? Because the men there are not really looking for what they say they want. I know—confused men on the Internet?—surprise!
We bought our first lottery ticket a few months ago when the jackpot was close to $315 million. We won two dollars. It was disappointing, as the lottery usually is – you start to fantasize about what you would do with that much money, but in the back of your head you know your chances are impossibly slim. Not so with this lottery!
Airports are awful these days. They're crowded with people who aren't sure where they need to go and don't understand that you need to take your shoes off while going through security. And don't even get us started on the creepy pat-downs from complete strangers who get to do so because they're wearing uniforms...
Gone are the days when you had to take pop quizzes and standardized tests, and you couldn't be happier. The last time you remember using a pencil to fill in a little circle on paper was when you asserted that yes, you are over 18 and (unlike the tanning mom's daughter) old enough to use a tanning bed.
San Diego reminds us of California sun, sand and surf. From now on, it will also remind us of weed and boobs.
Question: What's cute, cuddly and a little round in the middle? Answer: A teddy bear. Also, your future boyfriend... if that's what you're looking for!
Something tells us if you're looking to cheat without getting caught, you tread carefully. You don't shout it from the rooftops or joke about it with your friends. You also don't explicitly post your intentions on a free, easily accessible website like Craigslist. Well, this guy didn't get the memo.
Online dating experts are always stressing that you should know how to sell yourself to a potential match. This means listing your best qualities in your profile and posting photos that make you look like a fabulous catch. This does not mean that you should refer to yourself as a "lazy cow."
