Being part of a strong relationship is the ultimate achievement, but only if this is in a healthy and positive way, without giving up what makes you unique. Remember that you and your partner chose each other because of these individualities.
It turns out that psychologists are just like the rest of us: prone to making mistakes and giving medium-to-bad advice. A couple in New York are laying down the lawsuit with the couple's couples therapist. The man, actor Guido Venitucci, says his shrink hectored him into having an affair, and now he and his wife want some financial restitution.
Is your relationship in a rut? Maybe you know that something’s missing in your relationship but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Being in a relationship rut means that you are neither particularly unhappy with your partner but you also not particularly happy. It’s like being in a comfortable place of indifference and acceptance that you can’t seem to get out of…why? Simply because it’s what you’ve both become accustomed to and you don’t know how to change it. But, here’s some great news...it doesn’t have to be this way! We all sometimes need a wake-up call to rouse us out of mediocrity and into the life and relationship of our dreams. There is a way to do this in your relationship and I’m going to give you some tips on how to get there.
We’ve been married for 13 years and during this time we’ve learned that just about everything we’ve expected from love and marriage is the opposite of our actual lives. We’ve discovered there’s no such thing as happily-ever-after so we’ve opted for the more realistic “ever after.” We may not be blissed out every minute of the day, but in our “ever after,” we're raising a kid together we madly adore, we’re cracking each other up, and as far as we can tell there isn’t anyone else we’d rather spend our lives with. It’s in this spirit of lowered expectations that we’d like to share a few of things we’ve gleaned from our relationship.
How can couples ensure that what they say is interpreted in the way that they mean it? The first step is to identify the common communication mistakes so that we can then try to fix them.
You began the conversation with altruistic intentions. The intensity and staccato of your voices signal that you and your partner are approaching a full-blown argument. You don’t want to fling insults and accusations. You just need a time out. What do you do?
With piercing honesty, Sandra Tsing Loh writes in The Atlantic about the dissolution of her marriage. She tells us what it's like when two people, who once stood beside each another eager to start the rest of their lives together, are left wondering, "Now what?"
The wisdom rings true yet again. Before you go anywhere abroad, and after you thumb through the spectacular brochures detailing your romantic getaway, make sure to familiarize yourself with a few of the country's basic laws. Otherwise, you may be in for a lot more than you bargained, and not in the adventure category you were imagining.
Children whose parents treat each other violently are more likely to have mental difficulties as adults finds a study from the National Institute of Health and Medical Research in Paris, France, reports Science Daily. When researchers carried out in-person interviews with more than 3,000 adults they measured intimate partner violence, violence against children, lifetime suicide attempts and current level of depression.
In fact, Kate is betting that by televising the couple's marriage meltdowns, her and her brood will bank more big money and big opportunity. "Kate wants a future in showbiz, and airing their counseling sessions will shoot the show's ratings through the roof," said an insider close to the couple. "Jon was all for counseling, but Kate thought their marriage might be too far gone." Until that is, she realized that the TLC cash cow was almost out of milk.
Now in his seventh season on Dancing With The Stars, professional dancer Tony Dovolani spends much of his time between seasons presenting seminars and giving private instruction. Wherever he goes, he sees couples reconnecting through ballroom dancing. Dovolani says learning to dance teaches communication skills and fosters respect. The physical activity is a great stress reliever and the positive feelings about the shared experience makes couples excited to carve out alone time.
Sex. And the absence of a healthy sex life can lead to its dissolve. Bettina Arndt, an Australian sex therapist of 35 years, noticed an ongoing trend. The married couples lining her waiting room were mainly complaining of the same marital gripe – the disappearance of sex. She then set about doing research to figure out what was happening, reports the Brisbane Times.
A crumbling marriage triggers signs of depression in both men and women. But it offers up a double whammy to women who, unlike men, may also experience high blood pressure, obesity and high blood sugar as a result of the marital strain, increasing their risk for heart disease, find University of Utah researchers.
Going to couples therapy wasn’t something my boyfriend or I had to wrangle the other into. Our rough patch was more like a slick of black ice, and we were careening towards a precipitous ending. We had moved in together almost a year before, and couples therapy seemed easier than breaking up. It would at least buy us time to figure out how to split our belongings while I looked for my own place. I was scared, and didn’t know what to expect. Would she pit us against each other? Would she take my side or his? What if she liked him better than me?
One of the misperceptions of the Tantra practice is that it inherently involves sex. Not so. The belief system is so much more about aspiring to a controlled state of mind than it is about sticking to specific rituals. Like so much of Buddhist and Hindu thought (to which Tantra is closely linked), at all times—including during sex—the goal is being present and "tuned in" to the moment. As one New York City Tantra guru told YourTango, her instruction can seem more like couples therapy than red-hot sex workshop. To start, she tells partners to place their hands on the others' hearts and describe the times they feel most loved or cherished by them. So, before taking it to the bedroom, try applying Tantra to other parts of your life and relationship—the results could be mind-blowing.