Despite my best efforts as a counselor to help couples negotiate the choppy waters of relationship distress, many of them simply don't make it. In the beginning, we set an appointment and begin the process. Many of their problems have gone unresolved for months, even years. So why can't they make it work?
When a couple comes in for therapy, I need to remember that they have been doing other things with their lives and passions, not mastering intimacy-building techniques. Usually, they are beginners and the best thing we can do in our sessions is slow down ...
Over the course of a year, I see hundreds of people. Still, some of the stories I hear have touched me deeply. Such was the case with a couple that asked to see me after hearing me speak in Hawaii.
If your spouse is telling you "No way will I go to a therapist," all is not hopeless. Start with awareness of three wo common mistakes. Avoid these lest you inadvertently push your spouse away. Pushing him further from you would yield the opposite of your intent to make the marriage better.
I hate divorce. It's a fact I have to live with though, because I am a relationship psychotherapist and some marriages have to end. I think divorce is a lot like marriage in that you don't really know what you're getting into until you're midway in and then it's too late to turn back. So, you just keep going, feeling, and living.
For many couples, the idea of bringing a third party into their intimate relationship is scary—or just plain out of the question. Luckily, the stigma associated with couples therapy is well on its way out. Healthy couples are enlisting counseling professionals to help work through sticky patches, large and small, and are the better for it.
While some couples may think the key to great sex is to stock up on Kama Sutra books and experiment with complicated pretzel-like positions, sex author Ian Kerner doesn't think couples should have to try that hard to have mind-blowing sex. In fact, those reading will be shocked to learn that Kerner—who has published six books dedicated to the pursuit of satisfying sex—thinks some of the more basic sex positions are best.
Every now and then, we browse Metafilter, a huge community questionboard, to stave off our boredom. When we came across a board titled, What Clever Relationship Hacks Have You Come Up With?, we couldn't help but be grateful that we learned something in the process of passing the afternoon hours. To clarify, by "relationship hacks," the original poster meant clever or unconventional ways to maintain a healthy relationship. Since the forum received so much feedback, we've narrowed down eight of the funniest and presumably wisest relationship tips from real-life couples from around the web. Let us know in the comments whether or not you agree with these:
Intense passion and loving intimacy can co-exist, but most couples struggle to merge erotic sex with tender love. Women don't want to feel objectified to the absence of caring, and couples get bored if their sex lives are completely devoid of heat. Here are six exercses you can try to merge tenderness and sexual heat.
Over the weekend, Psychological Science published a study saying that people are happier when they spend more time discussing meaningful topics than engaging in small talk. Seventy-nine college students had their conversations recorded and analyzed by researchers, who distinguished between chit-chat about the food or the weather from discussions about philosophy, education, or religion. Subjects who reported the greatest amount of satisfaction spent only 10 percent of their conversation on small talk, while the unhappiest subjects kept 28.3 of their talking time in the shallow end.