Lucky four-leaf clovers are popping up a lot this month along with that elusive pot of gold. Some folks think luck is what it takes for a marriage to thrive. But if you’ve been married more than a few years, you know much more goes into a good marriage than luck. A great relationship takes dedication and that scary word – WORK. This is the good kind of work though, the kind that brings life-long rewards. Don’t you find that anything worthwhile takes work? Those washboard abs don’t just magically appear and a successful business doesn’t grow by itself.
Too Much To Do. Life gets crazy doesn’t it? You’ve fit your kids’ basketball and cheerleading practices into your schedule along with the dance recitals, the board meeting the business trip - and on it goes... It’s a whirlwind of “to-dos.” But where does your marriage fit into all of that? How much time do you put into making your marriage a priority, into making it what you want it to be?
Expert tip to help your marriage: Picking your Battles The couples I see with the most ongoing conflict are the ones who have not learned to pick their battles. These couples stay in constant conflict over who, left the lights on, and why the breadcrumbs are on the kitchen counter top.
Sex sex sex sex sex. It seems one can hardly go a day without being bombarded by notions of how much and what kind of sex we should have. Dr. Oz tells us that in a healthy relationship partners have sex three times a week, and it seems like Cosmo will never run out of new sex positions to offer us (I mean, seriously--how many can there be?). Then throw in 50 Shades of Grey, The Bachelor Born-Again Virgin, and it eventually becomes a FACT: sex is the only and most important barometer of a relationship.
1. “Should,” as in “You should do this … .” “Hearing the word ‘should’ feels like someone is pressing a thumb into your chest,” Schwartz says. When you tell your partner that he should be (or not be) doing something, you come across like an angry parent or boss waiting to dish out punishment. Your partner feels picked on, and rightfully so. Result: Whatever helpfulness your advice might have delivered is now lost and gone forever. A better approach is asking if your partner is open to a suggestion.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes decades of time together strewn with a minefield of potential relationship wreckers. It's a wonder that anyone ends up walking off into the sunset, hand-in-wrinkled-hand, with a silver-haired mate. What do those geriatric lovebirds know that you don't? Well, the truth is that even in so-called happy marriages, both partners probably fantasize some of the time -- or even much of the time -- about throwing in the towel.
"We've cut back on dinners out. In the beginning, it was all about going on nice dates, but now we cook at home and use the money we save to take more vacations. It pays off!" — SHAUN TALLON, 27, in a relationship with FAITH for 5 years "I don't wear expensive lingerie anymore. One day he told me he couldn't care less about it, because it just ends up on the floor!" — RITA MCKEOWN, 50, married to SEAN for 20 years
One of the things I appreciated the most about my late husband Jim was that he insisted that we have a weekly date. We wisely made “issue discussion dates” for working out problems, but our regular weekly date was sacred time not to be polluted by a disagreement. During a very tough time our date was breakfast out with him working on a crossword puzzle and me reading my novel. Then we’d go see a movie. These were safe activities that gave us peaceful time together even though, apart from this “time out,” we were consumed with trying t
A raw spot originally forms from moments in a person’s past when attachment needs were repeatedly neglected, ignored or dismissed resulting in the person – the child, teenager or adult in a past romantic relationship – feeling: • Emotionally Deprived, or • Emotionally Deserted.
I recently discovered the work on Alison Armstrong – who for 15 years has been honing her message on the important differences in men and women that manifest in the heterosexual marriage in typical and often frustrating ways. Her wisdom is found in the freedom that comes when we understand each other instead of blame and accuse each other. Last week I was sharing some of these ideas with a small group of grad therapy students. One of the men who is newly married, lit up and said, “Oh my gosh, that happene
Have you settled for companionship in your would-be romantic relationship? Companionship is when you exist in the same home but spend very little time together, and neither of you is particularly satisfied.
I used to think that if something didn’t turn out right (cake batter or laundering a stained blouse, say) the way to apply a fix was to add something. More flour to the batter. An applique over the stain. I’d like to say those solutions worked, but we both know better. So why do we seek to add a BIG COMPLICATION to an already-complicated situation? I’m not talking returning a dog to the pound because he digs under the fence. Or changing your mind about that four grand worth of furniture.
By GalTime Ambassador, Lindsley Lowell, for GalTime.com My husband says getting me to fall in love with him was like taming a wild horse. It was love at first sight for me the moment I met him, but that didn’t stop me from driving myself insane trying to not love him. I was scared to death of letting my heart go and trusting him with it. I did not want to get hurt.
For the love of all things spooky and made of Spandex, you and your date cannot go to a Halloween party in the old plug-and-socket costumes. Wilma and Fred are so last year and there's no call to wiggle into lingerie when it's 39-degrees outside.
When you are in a relationship you value, it is important to subscribe to the ABCs of Relationships and to mind your P & Qs and everything else from A to Z. Secrets of Happy Couples A = Accepting When in a relationship, it is important to accept your partner as he or she is, instead of always trying to change him or her. If you want to embark on a self-improvement plan, start with yourself. When you don’t like something about your partner, it’s experiences as criticism.
We always hear about the foods and chemicals that quietly erode our health. But, while we don't hear about them as frequently, there are similarly dangerous threats to our relationships. The sooner you identify any of these five things in your relationship, the better your chances are of saving it.