I saw a short article today from Tiny Buddha called A Simple Prescription for Natural Healing. In it, Harriet Cabelly discussed her method of coping with her daughter's critical medical condition. It required a three-month drug-induced coma to overcome, so she was offered an anti-anxiety pill by the doctor early in the process. The author refused, preferring to pursue her own natural methods. In discussing her own prescription, Cabella reflected on the place of challenge in our lives. She wrote,
People in relationships get into patterns. Some work well for them and some don't. If you find yourself getting into the same bad places in your relationship, you might want to examine what you are doing to sabotage growth, resolution and intimacy in your relationships. It is easy to blame everyone else but until you look at yourself and take responsibility for fixing your part nothing will change. Here are the five ways people tend to have learned to deal with problems in relationships that don't work:
Every woman is working with the same pool of men. Say there are four billion men on Planet Earth. This is the pool of men that you have to work with. In this pool, there are going to be gentlemen, pimps, players, hustlers, and psychos. But, it’s the same pool of men. It’s not like the crazy men are coming from outside this pool. The question is, why do some women always attract the crazy men? The answer is you. You can either repel or invite these men into your life. The only reason you attract crazy men is because you talk to them.
The holidays are special because of the opportunities we get to connect or reconnect with friends and family. But we all know that they can also cause a lot of stress because of the complexity that is added to our everyday lives: travel, in-laws, financial pressures, cooking, and shopping all start to pile up in our already busy schedules.
Each person shows love and likes to receive love differently. Some like words of affirmation while others like to be kissed, cuddled and spend quality time together. Some like to receive gifts or have some help around the house. Other people like to communicate and have long talks. Everyone is different. The important thing for you to figure out is what your partner needs from you to show them that you love them.
A relationship without basic trust has no security. Without trust there's no way to predict another person's behaviors, which can make us consumed with anxiety. Since we can't stand anxiety, we resort to blame. And blame kills relationships.
Now normally, I'm in the position of "answer man," but I love to have conversations, open communication between men and women. Hopefully ladies gain some new insight on guys, and guys can learn a new thing or two about ladies. So, with permission from my pals at Galtime, I'd like to turn the tables. As a guy, I've got some deep questions for the women, so here we go!
I look at my friends (Facebook and otherwise), peers, colleagues and I'm hard pressed to find people in my life that I can share my 10th wedding anniversary with that know what it means to reach this milestone. If I look at the same group, where are my mentors, the people who have been beyond 10 years, the ones I can learn from along the way? I realize my wife and I have primarily been alone in this.
Following several years of barely-restrained, insouciant bachelorhood, I'm finally preparing my first move-in with a girlfriend. I've lived alone for years, roommate- and drama-free just as I like it. I haven't had a roommate since my sophomore year of college over 10 years ago, and the only beef either of us ever had with one another was when he woke up from a nap to find I killed his bag of Better Made Red Hot potato chips.
I tried to get to the root of my unhappiness. I married a man who loved and respected me (and vice versa). I didn't give up my career. I was doing everything "right." So why didn't it feel right? Maybe it was because I was having a tough time losing the pregnancy weight. Maybe it was because postpartum depression was no stranger to me, but sleep certainly was. But that was all normal, wasn't it? Happily ever after was just around the corner, right?
As far as difficult years go, Catherine Zeta-Jones has had a particularly tough 12 months. In the midst of raising her children and helping her husband, Michael Douglas, beat cancer, the stress finally caught up with her this week. She checked herself into a mental health facility to treat bipolar disorder, bringing an under-the-radar disease into the spotlight. As it turns out, it's far more common than you probably think. Zeta-Jones is just one of more than six million Americans who suffer from bipolar disorder—approximately one in 40 people—and even more cases of men and women experiencing this form of depression have gone undetected. If your partner is, or could be, suffering from bipolar disorder, then here's how you can help lend some support.