Biological Anthropologist Helen Fisher wrote an interesting piece about how jealousy is a deeply ingrained and even positive instinct infecting animals and humans alike.
Religion has never played a large part in my life. I grew up celebrating "Christian" holidays like Easter and Christmas, but in America, these days are so mainstreamed and commercialized, they almost seem secular. I've never minded not having a religion, and I like the fact that because I'm a blank religious slate, I can approach new religions without prior assumption. I've learned Hindu traditions while in India, marveled at the Muslim mosques while in Indonesia, caroled in a Carmelite monastery, and recently visited a Zen Buddhist center for meditation.
We had been married for eight years. We had been trying to get pregnant for six of those years and between IVF and ICSI had gone through five fertility cycles. We knew we could get pregnant but we didn't know if we could stay pregnant. We had spent over $200,000, and all we had to show for it was a glossy photo of four egg cells. That photo still sits in the drawer of the night table besides out bed, buried there. We're unable to look at it—or dispose of it. Other friends who were on the IVF merry-go-round and got pregnant, had their children. Some had their second child while we waited and tried again. Every couple who had a child swore by their doctor, their method, their technique—success was its own affirmation.
Amy had been referred to a Beverly Hills fertility doctor, who was so reassuring that I took him to calling him Dr. Mellow. His office had a wall of photos of smiling babies, as if to say, "This will be you." We sat in his waiting room holding hands. We believed. We didn't know we had just taken our seats inside the Hope Factory. Once inside, the possibility of getting pregnant never ended. If one technique failed, you tried another, and kept trying. There seemed to be an infinite supply of hope.
Without referring you to the many, many, medical sites, books and journals I immediately consulted on the subject, there is some belief that a certain vein that traverses one or both testicles can, in one way or another, affect the quality of sperm production. Operating on it may, or may not, improve sperm quality. In my case, a double varocelectomy was recommended.
I suppose everyone remembers their first time. I certainly do. I put on some mood music, dimmed the lights and proceeded to romance myself. Eager to please the laboratory (and myself), I marshaled my forces to climax, and then promptly fumbled the collection. Most of my contribution missed the container.
Becoming a father and stay-at-home dad puts a strain on a couple's marriage. "Even though we split many of the chores involved in caring for our son, my best energy, both physically and mentally, was going to our baby; my wife was getting the leftovers. She was understandably frustrated, but we both assumed it was just the natural process for a newborn. After a while, though, the position became untenable."
Children whose parents treat each other violently are more likely to have mental difficulties as adults finds a study from the National Institute of Health and Medical Research in Paris, France, reports Science Daily. When researchers carried out in-person interviews with more than 3,000 adults they measured intimate partner violence, violence against children, lifetime suicide attempts and current level of depression.
June is upon us. You know what that means: Wedding bells are ringing. But not in all cases. As if there was any shortage of reality television shows, one more has been added to the list. We recently stumbled onto the premier episode of "Hitched or Ditched," a new reality TV show from The CW, the network that brings us Gossip Girl and America's Next Top Model.
Chick flick. Action flick. Comedy. The Netflix queue can have them all, in some kind of order. With the economic downturn prompting more couples to stay home instead of go out in order to cut down entertainment costs, Netflix is rousing up a bit of household strife as couples tussle over the coveted list of must-see movies, reports Michael Wilson in the New York Times.
Let's face it: Some days even the best of relationships are hard work. So learning how to mend hurts and tear down walls of conflict is part and parcel to keeping a healthy and vibrant relationship going strong. Here, Bill Ferguson fills us in on three love pitfalls to avoid.
Ah the mother-in-law. She loves her son and wants what's best for him, which may or may not include you. A study by a British psychologist found that 60% of women felt tension with their mothers-in-law, compared with 15% of men. But not all MIL relationships are strained. This week's New York Times Modern Love essayist tells of her incredible relationship with her lover's mother. Then there are the famous MIL relationships: Barack Obama's mother-in-law may be moving into the White House, and Heidi Montag's mom thinks marrying Spencer Pratt was a bad idea. Read the full article to find out how to ease conflict with a mother-in-law.
Unexpected Facebook message the other night: an old friend from middle school delivered a thumpin' to her husband and was arrested for assault and battery. I don't know the circumstances at all -- not that that really matters. It's domestic violence and it's wrong and it's not the way for a couple to solve a conflict. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit I am fascinated.
Marriage is the union of two different people with vastly divergent personalities, beliefs, background and culture. So how do two truly become one? Couples can overcome their differences in marriage by communicating, getting perspective, reconciling the differences, understanding and accepting. Communicating our differences to one another in a calm, rational way helps defuse possible fights long before they start.
In what circumstances is it OK to be dishonest? Some people think the key to communication is honesty? But do little white lies really hurt a relationship? YourTango goes to the street to find out when it's OK to lie and learns the craziest lies people have been told and have heard.
What do you do if your significant other is a slob? How do you manage your differences? Catie Lazarus has some love and relationship issues and needs a therapist. She found the most experienced one out there...you! Watch "On the Couch" for all the public therapy you will ever need.