What strikes me about the '50 Shades' phenomenon is how one person reading the book — usually the wife — affects both parties in the marriage.
CONFLICT IN RELATIONSHIPS
“When Eddie blames me, I react so fast, before I have a chance to get my adult self onboard. I’m explaining and defending before I can even take a breath,” Lori told me in one of our sessions. I knew exactly what she was talking about, as I had struggled with this same challenge for years.
When two people are just starting a relationship, they do their best to present only their best and most attractive attributes to the other party. They want to show their most favorable attributes to each other and work hard to meet the needs of the partner. They want to appear strong, confident and willing to compromise. Next Level of Love
People often ask me how they can know whether or not someone they are dating is REALLY open. "He seems open, but how can I know? My last guy seemed really open until we started living together and then he was always angry. I don't want that to happen again," said Kiera in a phone session. "Have you and your boyfriend had significant conflict yet?" "No, we've only been dating for two months."
Every couple has some aggravations with their relationship that seem to defy understanding. “Why in the heck does he/she keep doing that when it is guaranteed to start an argument?” Sometimes these puzzles are hard to figure out. But if you ask different questions or ask them in a different way, you might get a new insight about why these things happen. This takes some detective work but the effort is worthwhile to increase understanding and perhaps avoid some of those common relationship annoyances.
How do you drop bomb of sudden, unexpected and quite possibly undesirable information on someone you care about without behaving like a cruel, dispassionate ogre? What if you're the unfortunate recipient of the aforementioned bomb? How do you respond with compassion instead of setting off a furious chain reaction?
Most arguments begin from a lack of clarity, a miscommunication or a false belief. Couples argue when they feel misunderstood or under-appreciated. These dynamics can lead to disconnection and resentment if they aren't cleared up. To clean up an old argument, or to avoid a new one, here are four ways.
Gone are the days where abusive relationships are handled by solely requiring a change in the behavior of the abuser. Relationship Violence is a dynamic that must be addressed by each partner. If you recognize yourself or your partner in the signs below, you may be headed for relationship violence. Many Abusive Relationships Share These Patterns: 1. If one partner is hardly ever angry, and the other partner is often very angry.
A distraught 21-year-old respectful and responsible young Indian woman asks whether it is wrong to go ahead and marry the man she loves even though her parents object. Nita has discussed this with them and their only objection is that this otherwise outstanding young man comes from a different religious background than she does.
Do you argue over money? Will Money Ruin Your Relationship? [EXPERT] Are you fighting over sex? Do you have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? Do you squabble over extended family and friends? Is one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play things safe? Does one of you want to be right all the time? Does one of you want to always be in control? Do you disagree about the fun activities in your life?
Conflicts between spouses related to a new diagnosis of diabetes People with Diabetes (Type I or Type 2) receive extensive education about their lifestyle including their diet and exercise regimen. Sometimes the spouse is included in the education process, sometimes not. The spouse often struggles with having to treat his partner’s hypoglycemia, worries about complications and concern about his partner testing the sugar, following the diet and doing everything he or she can do to take care of him or herself.
When partners are having problems, they often say that the problem is communication. What exactly does this mean? What are they trying to communicate? There are various reasons for communicating:
One question that comes up often in my practice as a couples therapist is the issue of "falling out of love." You’ve been in love with someone for 6-12 months, maybe longer, and you start to wonder whether this is going to last. Are you going to stay together, settle down, or is it time to move on? If the latter is on your mind, what happened? Sister Souls
If you are like most people, you experience some form of conflict within your family whether it is just two of you, involves children or even the extended family. Sometimes this conflict can be just in the situation, but there are also times that it runs deeper. There are even times that trust has been severely broken and you do not trust whether another will live up to the support that they talk about or whether another will directly do you harm by betraying you. So, what should you do when you find yourself in such a spot?
None of the three Conflict Personality Types are bad or wrong. However, they all presuppose that conflict warrants a red-alert warning to the system, as would be the case if a tiger with yard-long claws was running you down. Often, conflict, although admittedly uncomfortable, is a huge opportunity for some part of the relationship dynamic to be shaken loose and upgraded. We often miss or overlook the opportunity entirely, so busy are we trying to maintain our safety from the perceived threat by Freezing, Fighting or Fleeing.