Lesbians: Stop Processing & Save Your Relationship!
Experts Blog

Lesbians: Stop Processing & Save Your Relationship!

Years ago, I was madly in love with a woman I’ll call Sarah. The first time I went to her house, I was won over by the huge unabridged dictionary that had a permanent home on her dining room table. When she took me to a raptor center, and then to see a rainbow out over a field of sunflowers at dusk, I knew she was the woman for me. It also didn’t hurt that Sarah was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, in a butch/tomboi kind of way.

Lesbians: Take Your Finger Off That Trigger!
Experts Blog

Lesbians: Take Your Finger Off That Trigger!

We all know that fighting hurts our relationships - yet endless hours of "processing" can be just as bad. So what's a couple to do? No one really believes that responding to conflict by yelling, storming out, giving each other the “silent treatment,” or trying to stuff our feelings down is a good idea (though sometimes it's all we know how to do.) Obviously, direct communication seems like a much better alternative – and since lesbians and queer women care a great deal about our relationships, many of us have worked very hard to learn to nam

Learning to Fight Fair As a Couple
Experts Blog

Learning to Fight Fair As a Couple

We all know that when we are in a relationship, that everything is not going to be perfect and arguments will occur. This is okay and it is perfectly normal. Every person is different and no one is going to agree with a person 100% of the time, even if they are the most compatible couple in the world. One thing that I would like to address in this segment is that when these arguments occur, are you fighting fair or are you just fighting. Now arguing can be a really dangerous thing.

Couples In Relationships: What Am I Like To Come Home To?
Who's waiting on the other side of that door? Photo: dominicotine, Flickr.
Experts Blog

Are You Miserable To Come Home To?

All relationships can benefit from asking this one simple question: what am I like to come home to? If you're cranky, indifferent or irritated, you're not putting your best foot forward — for you or your partner. Who do you want to come home to?

Perfectionism-What's Wrong With Being Too Good?
Experts Blog

Perfectionism-What's Wrong With Being Too Good?

One of the most challenging issues I confront in people who seek my help is perfectionism. These are people with very high standards who continually work to meet their goals-admirable qualities most would agree. When it is extreme, however, the relentless pursuit of achievement can lead to a great deal of misery for the individual and for the people in their lives. SIGNS OF A PERFECTIONIST