None of the three Conflict Personality Types are bad or wrong. However, they all presuppose that conflict warrants a red-alert warning to the system, as would be the case if a tiger with yard-long claws was running you down. Often, conflict, although admittedly uncomfortable, is a huge opportunity for some part of the relationship dynamic to be shaken loose and upgraded. We often miss or overlook the opportunity entirely, so busy are we trying to maintain our safety from the perceived threat by Freezing, Fighting or Fleeing.
Yes, arguments happen and no, they aren't always pretty. And, thanks to the differences in the way our brains are wired, men and women handle them differently. Luckily our friends at Tokii polled their users to give us some helpful tips on working through conflict in a relationship.
Marital Conflict by James E. Barrick, Ph.D. © If there were only two people on earth, there would still be conflicts, e.g. “Hey, stay out of my apple orchard,” or “You just ate my apple,” etc. So we (Society) invented lawyers and judges to protect our rights, rather than drawing swords. Society also invented marital therapists to resolve conflicts within marriage.
Breakups are never easy. Whether you dated someone for 90 days or were in a marriage for nine years, the decision to end a relationship is painful. Aside from the inherent pain, breakups can become quite cruel. It can be tempting to hurt your ex as a way of validating your anger and sadness. The immediate urge to protect your wounded ego can cause you to lose perspective. Regardless of how much anguish you feel, try to keep your dissolution dignified. The more ethically you act, the more elevated you will feel. Moreover, remaining in a constant state of distress and negativity is emotionally (and physically) detrimental. Here are nine ways to end your relationship gracefully.
How Focusing on your Own Emotional Business can Improve Conflict Resolution and Enhance Intimacy The factors that create and sustain a successful relationship can sometimes seem elusive. Particularly in the environment in which we find ourselves today… We are inundated with news of divorce, infidelity, cyber cheating, emotional affairs and so on.
Rejection and criticism arise because of one word: fear. When we are in a state of fear in a relationship, the twin towers of negativity—rejection and criticism—become an embodied part of the couple.
Find us a long-term relationship that's never experienced conflict, and we'll check the sky for flying pigs. The feelings of anger and disappointment we feel when a loved one seemingly wrongs us can be consuming, even uncontrollable. But anyone who's lost his/her temper can tell you: getting angry and getting revenge never pay off; they never make us feel better, in the long run.
by Aiyana Ma'at The very first time my husband and I decided to enroll in Marriage Education classes I was so clear that there were some “issues” he needed to work on and I was just waiting for his “Aha!” moment to come so he could let go of some of his baggage and stop working my nerves. Yup, that was my thinking— pretty arrogant, right? Well, as each week passed what became clearer and clearer to me was the fact that I might be a bit “touched” too meaning I had some bags I needed to put down myself.