We've all been there. One minute life is going along as normal, and the next minute, some seemingly small thing has set us off. She left a dirty dish in the sink again! She's driving too fast, after I asked her not to! She never does her share of the cleanup! Suddenly, our anger swells, and knocks us off-balance.
Recently I heard a quote that got right to the heart of conflict and how to resolve it. I’m paraphrasing, but it was along the lines of “conflict does not rise out of a clash of good and bad, it rises out of a clash of good and good.” In other words, each conflicting party always believes their position is good and right, putting to rest the notion of “good vs. evil.” With that perspective in mind, it may become easier to resolve conflict at work, home or anywhere you encounter it.
Years ago, I was madly in love with a woman I’ll call Sarah. The first time I went to her house, I was won over by the huge unabridged dictionary that had a permanent home on her dining room table. When she took me to a raptor center, and then to see a rainbow out over a field of sunflowers at dusk, I knew she was the woman for me. It also didn’t hurt that Sarah was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, in a butch/tomboi kind of way.
We all know that fighting hurts our relationships - yet endless hours of "processing" can be just as bad. So what's a couple to do? No one really believes that responding to conflict by yelling, storming out, giving each other the “silent treatment,” or trying to stuff our feelings down is a good idea (though sometimes it's all we know how to do.) Obviously, direct communication seems like a much better alternative – and since lesbians and queer women care a great deal about our relationships, many of us have worked very hard to learn to nam
Relationship therapist Dr. Rhoberta Shaler share the number one things couples should NEVER do. Read on to learn what it is so you avoid it in your marriage.
We all know that when we are in a relationship, that everything is not going to be perfect and arguments will occur. This is okay and it is perfectly normal. Every person is different and no one is going to agree with a person 100% of the time, even if they are the most compatible couple in the world. One thing that I would like to address in this segment is that when these arguments occur, are you fighting fair or are you just fighting. Now arguing can be a really dangerous thing.
Now you're an adult, and you certainly don't want to be made a fool of. Yet, as you start to get involved with someone, it's a real possibility that the person you're seeing is really not the person with whom you're meant to spend the rest of your life.
As I have mentioned before in this series (The Eight Simple Rules to Managing Conflict), the biggest key to effectively resolving conflict is preparation. When we have time to prepare we do much better in resolving conflict than when it is thrust upon us and all we can do is react. When I mediate conflicts, I include a preparation and coaching phase with both parties individually before I ever bring them together. This added phase is critical to a successful mediation, resulting in both parties being prepared, goal-focused, and ready for resolution.
Was Valentines Day special? Did it help you to remember that you mean something to your partner? I hope so. After all, that's the purpose of this day. However, now it's over. So, does that mean waiting another 364 days until you can be reminded of how special you are?
I had a love-hate relationship with my old boss. The love part was my incredible respect for this former Olympic gold medalist turned CEO of one of the leading professional development companies in the world. He was one of those people who could make an audience laugh, cry, and get inspired—all at the same time. People always came up to me after one of Terry’s amazing speeches to say how lucky I was to work for this man. I’d smile and say, “I sure am”, knowing I was lying through my teeth.
“I need a volunteer…Greg?” Wow, that was more like telling than asking, I thought. “Sure Ron, I’d be glad to volunteer.” Ron asked me to stand in front of the group as he approached. I knew he picked me for a reason but wasn’t quite sure why…that is until his hands hit my chest with such force that I stumbled back a couple of steps. “What are you doing?” I yelled, trying to regain my composure.
…In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Tighten the mask by pulling on the straps like this. If you are traveling with a child, place your mask on first before assisting them... Whenever I hear that part of the flight attendant’s pre-flight spiel, I always smile. I smile because my gut instinct would be to place the mask on a child first—had I not repetitively heard that directive. But I get the idea—save yourself so you can save others!