When two people are just starting a relationship, they do their best to present only their best and most attractive attributes to the other party. They want to show their most favorable attributes to each other and work hard to meet the needs of the partner. They want to appear strong, confident and willing to compromise. Next Level of Love
CONFLICT AND COUPLES
Situation & Lessons No.1 SELF SUPPRESSION Anna does whatever she is asked to do even when she doesn’t want to do it. Feeling mistreated, she grumbles, complains and bursts out in anger every so often because of her accumulated resentment. Although she feels suppressed, she finds it impossible to say “No.”. She is afraid people will not love her anymore, that they will reject her if she refuses to do what they request of her.
Every couple has some aggravations with their relationship that seem to defy understanding. “Why in the heck does he/she keep doing that when it is guaranteed to start an argument?” Sometimes these puzzles are hard to figure out. But if you ask different questions or ask them in a different way, you might get a new insight about why these things happen. This takes some detective work but the effort is worthwhile to increase understanding and perhaps avoid some of those common relationship annoyances.
Do you argue over money? Will Money Ruin Your Relationship? [EXPERT] Are you fighting over sex? Do you have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? Do you squabble over extended family and friends? Is one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play things safe? Does one of you want to be right all the time? Does one of you want to always be in control? Do you disagree about the fun activities in your life?
If you are like most people, you experience some form of conflict within your family whether it is just two of you, involves children or even the extended family. Sometimes this conflict can be just in the situation, but there are also times that it runs deeper. There are even times that trust has been severely broken and you do not trust whether another will live up to the support that they talk about or whether another will directly do you harm by betraying you. So, what should you do when you find yourself in such a spot?
How would you like to turn your relationship that goes from wonderful to awful millions of time a day into a loving, comfortable connection? You love the idea of it, but can't see it happening. The secret lies in discovering whether you have a 'validator' relationship or a 'battle type' relationship. The story of Peter and Hedy will help you find out which fits your connection and offers tips on making your relationship a peaceful validating one.
Marital Conflict by James E. Barrick, Ph.D. © If there were only two people on earth, there would still be conflicts, e.g. “Hey, stay out of my apple orchard,” or “You just ate my apple,” etc. So we (Society) invented lawyers and judges to protect our rights, rather than drawing swords. Society also invented marital therapists to resolve conflicts within marriage.
Does this sound like your family? You are a Type A personality. You’re driven, intense and focused primarily on your career. You tend to look at yourself as having to be perfect, are impatient with co-workers and subordinates who are slower than you or who don’t share your passion about their work and careers.
Brrrrr When temperatures drop and the weather gets icy and cold, it can be a great excuse to cuddle up with your love in front of a fire or in bed. How delicious to make love with your partner or just spoon under a big cozy blanket! How horrible when you and your partner are locked in conflict or frozen by hard feelings and resentments. When it's cold INSIDE your relationship, there is no fun, no passion and it can feel like there's no love either.
You’re on the couch and he’s in the bed, but neither of you is sleeping. After the heated argument over your summer vacation destination, he stomped angrily upstairs and you sit sobbing on the couch. He wants to go to camping with tents and backpacks and you want to stay at a resort by the ocean.
This guest article from Psych Central was written by Margarita Tartakovsy, M.S. Conflict gets a bad rap. We automatically assume that conflict will collapse a relationship. Some of us avoid conflict like the plague, thinking that if we close our eyes to a potential clash, it doesn’t exist.