The two types of listening - improve your communication skills
Experts Blog

The two types of listening - improve your communication skills

Bottom line: There are two different ways to listen to our partner – problem-solving listening and empathic listening. Oftentimes we get into conflict because we are not using the type of listening that is needed or expected by our partner, which can result in hurt feelings on both sides. By learning how to utilize both types listening and when to use which type of listening and why, you and your partner will be better able to understand and support each other.

What to Say and How to Say It: A Conflict Model That Works!
Experts Blog

What to Say and How to Say It: A Conflict Model That Works!

As I have mentioned before in this series (The Eight Simple Rules to Managing Conflict), the biggest key to effectively resolving conflict is preparation. When we have time to prepare we do much better in resolving conflict than when it is thrust upon us and all we can do is react. When I mediate conflicts, I include a preparation and coaching phase with both parties individually before I ever bring them together. This added phase is critical to a successful mediation, resulting in both parties being prepared, goal-focused, and ready for resolution.

Set Yourself Up For Success In Conflict
Experts Blog

Set Yourself Up For Success In Conflict

There are two components to every argument/conflict…the conflicting issue (the “what”) and the interpersonal dynamics during the conflict (the “how”). Guess which one is most important? That’s right, the “how.” Very simply, how you do conflict will directly impact the outcome of the conflict itself. If you are kind, respectful, constructively assertive and focused on win-win outcomes, you’ll get one kind of results.

Always Ask for What You Need!
Experts Blog

Always Ask for What You Need!

I had a love-hate relationship with my old boss. The love part was my incredible respect for this former Olympic gold medalist turned CEO of one of the leading professional development companies in the world. He was one of those people who could make an audience laugh, cry, and get inspired—all at the same time. People always came up to me after one of Terry’s amazing speeches to say how lucky I was to work for this man. I’d smile and say, “I sure am”, knowing I was lying through my teeth.

The Martial Art Of Listening
Experts Blog

The Martial Art Of Listening

“I need a volunteer…Greg?” Wow, that was more like telling than asking, I thought. “Sure Ron, I’d be glad to volunteer.” Ron asked me to stand in front of the group as he approached. I knew he picked me for a reason but wasn’t quite sure why…that is until his hands hit my chest with such force that I stumbled back a couple of steps. “What are you doing?” I yelled, trying to regain my composure.

Take The Initiative
Experts Blog

Take The Initiative

…In the event of a loss of cabin pressure, an oxygen mask will drop from above. Tighten the mask by pulling on the straps like this. If you are traveling with a child, place your mask on first before assisting them... Whenever I hear that part of the flight attendant’s pre-flight spiel, I always smile. I smile because my gut instinct would be to place the mask on a child first—had I not repetitively heard that directive. But I get the idea—save yourself so you can save others!

Breaking The Conflict Pattern
Experts Blog

Breaking The Conflict Pattern

(A conversation during a coaching session) Me:       Tom, how are things going with Nancy? Tom:     Well…not that great actually. Me:       What do you mean? Last time we talked you were all excited about dating her. Tom:     I know. But things have changed. She’s blown me off.