One newlywed learns the value of compromise when she asks her husband for a little financial help.
Over time, my husband and I have learned how to come to an agreement on more things than just everyday household decisions. And we've learned that selfishness and stubborn attitudes make compromising nearly impossible. But don't get me wrong, it didn't all happen overnight. We had to make some major adjustments on both of our parts to get where we are today.
Tokii makes sure my long-distance boyfriend and I follow through on the promises we make.
Sometimes we have to treat our relationships like a business arrangement. When traditional, lovey-dovey methods of communicating don't seem to get the job done, it's time to get formal. It's time to use things like "agendas" and "action items." Enter Tokii.com's Trading Post feature, which encourages you to haggle in the name of love. "I'll wash your car on Saturday, if you agree to give me a one-hour back rub." One person suggests a trade and the other half either accepts or negotiates the terms.
A tried and true method for relationships that stand the test of time.
The other day I was talking with a woman I know fairly well (let's call her Mary), and asked her what has kept her 25 year marriage going strong. Mary replied that she was a bit embarrassed to tell me this, but that she and her husband practice something they call night on-night off in which they have sex on the nights on, but not on the nights off.
A pressure? A need? A fear? What really drives your decisions and actions? Is it really Love?
The Marriage Puzzle: To Be Or Not To Be?
This month I had a pleasure of being invited to a beautiful wedding. This invitation came over just a few weeks after the one of my young clients showed up in my office with a huge uncertainty about herself, her future life and most importantly, a big confusion about her previous relationship. This is what she sent me after this session:
33% of people say getting a partner to change is a good way to reignite passion in a relationship.
When my husband requested a trial separation, his reasoning was that we weren't a good match anymore. He felt that we shouldn't have to compromise in order to find happiness, and that love should be easy. I briefly considered the fact that I might be married to a delusional maniac, then rejected the thought and explained to him that marriage was all about compromise. People change over time and, as a result, relationships must shift in order to accommodate that change. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. According to the results of YourTango's Power of Attraction survey, 33 percent of people feel that "getting [their] partner to change" is a good way to reignite attraction. But should you even be together if you need your partner to change in order to be happy?
When two people get married, they're essentially agreeing to be on the same team. "It's you and me against the world, baby." It’s easy to feel that way in the beginning, but it takes work and focus to stay on the same team. Once you add kids to the equation, it's even more important to keep your team together, but it takes more work.
What happens when an agnostic falls in love with a Christian?
Interfaith dating: What happens when an atheist falls in love with a Christian? "For our second date, we opted for a movie followed by dinner. It was just after the entrees arrived that TD mentioned casually that he was a Christian and attended a church near my neighborhood in Brooklyn. I grew up thinking Christianity was something for "the other people"—red staters, conservatives, people who owned guns. If you did grow up in the Church, it was something you cast off as you became educated and matured. But here, sitting at the table across from me, was someone who was both of these things and still avowed his faith."
How do you compromise when you want Netflix and he wants HBO?
There are necessities, like running water, and then there are "necessities," like HBO and a weekly pedicure. When you're single and supporting only yourself, you have every right to declare keeping your toes in the latest shade of blush a priority. But once you join budgets with your partner, it's important that you both agree on which expenses qualify as non-negotiable.
When faced with the choice of sex or television, is it possible to have both?
It was 11:45 p.m. on a Wednesday night. My wife and I were exhausted and cozied up in bed together. We both had one thing on our minds. Unfortunately, it wasn't the same thing. I was craving sex and she was craving the season three finale of "Friday Night Lights." We were at a standstill, experiencing what some might call a "21st century marital pickle." It seems Netflix and sites like Hulu just might be the modern couple's greatest obstacles to a steady sex life. The continuous supply of great TV is so accessible and so compelling, many a good couple become hooked like crackheads and forget about making their own entertainment. Through burning eyes and next day regret, couples machete through a season of "Lost" or "The Wire," ignoring or forgetting to fuel their loins. But on this night, something in me snapped and I drew a line in the sand … with my penis. "Babe," I said, "we're in a losing battle against awesome TV. It will never end. There are too many TV shows out there; when do we get to do it?"