This week, The Best Of YourTango explores the importance of being rational in relationships.
Now that the Christmas trees and Menorahs are packed away, it's obviously time to start preparing for Valentine's Day. The festive among us have already put up red heart-shaped lights, and we're still not sure how to compete. It shouldn't be this hard. Valentine's Day is a celebration of love and, well, we love love! For some reason, however, the thought of celebrating this Hallmark holiday has some of us feeling homicidal. How to get in the mood?
Your partner seduces you into the bedroom. You take off your clothes, climb into bed and...start thinking about the laundry, the fight with your boss or your belly pooch. If this happens to you when you hit the sack, you're not alone. Many women's minds turn to everything but pleasure during sex. Why do we do this? And how can we stop it?
I've gone through breakups on the day before Valentine's, on Yom Kippur, and once even naked. Actually, that was probs the best one, strangely enough; it felt so honest and, hey, at least I spared myself bad sex. Anyway, as someone who dates a lot—pretty unsuccessfully—I know about breakups. They're a fact of life, love. So, if you're planning on dumping your boo, here are some times you're gonna have to carry that weight just a little bit longer. Otherwise, you might wind up in a situation similar to this tragic Dater X Christmas story. As they say, timing is everything!
Yesterday, National Geographic ran a piece designed to once again whip us up into a frenzy over the possibility that a male contraceptive might finally be developed and released unto the world. Color us unconvinced. Similar pieces seem to run every few years, yet our prayers are never answered. And, now that we think about it, this initiative's continued failure might actually be a good thing.
In December 2009, Billy Joel and Christie Brinkley's 24-year-old daughter Alexa Ray Joel was rushed to the hospital after swallowing a handful of homeopathic pain pills. But just as curious as Joel's behavior was the explanation she gave for it: a bad case of "Heartbreak-Related Depression." "Heartbreak-Related Depression" does not currently exist as a clinically diagnosable form of depression. So what was Joel suffering from? Heartbreak, depression or a hybrid of the two?
Recently, my boyfriend expressed some fear that we had moved too fast. While it's only been four months, it feels like way more. Not quite a lifetime, but certainly a few years. We had clicked almost instantly, and while I was less than a year out of a nearly five-year relationship and he was, um, not quite divorced (a whole other topic), it seemed too good to pass up. I felt ready to be totally vulnerable and open to someone new, no matter where that might lead me. It has been (mostly) awesome.
If there's one thing that redeems the whole terrible process of breaking up with someone, it's the potentially fun recovery period afterward. Don't get us wrong: Breakups are a sad, sorry business, and even the cleanest ones entail some kind of annoying consequence or follow-up, like adjusting to an empty bed or having to return that awesome space heater he left at your apartment. The key to making the most of your breakup is engaging in life-affirming activities: little things that will empower you start over and set out into the great unknown (singlehood - eek!) with courage and resilience. Resist binge-drinking, rebound guys or ex sex, and consider these fun post-breakup activities instead:
Boobies, tatas, jugs, melons, bubbies (if you're a "Real Housewife" from New Jersey), there are so many nicknames, and about as many ways to show your appreciation for our girlie golden globes. But every lady has got a story about some boob hound who did her knockers wrong! So, dudes, because I can't look in those sweet eyes of yours and lie, I'm going to uncover titties for you, well, with some straight talk.
The New Year is off to a bittersweet start for Neenah Pickett. The New Jersey media consultant, 43, spent all of 2009 searching for love and not finding it. Still, Pickett emerged with hope and pride intact. At her Web site 52 Weeks 2 Find Him, she chronicled her dozens of dates and introduction to online dating and social networking sites—her message being that finding the love of your life should take work. "I did not put any effort into dating and went on two first dates in 14 years," she said of her past approach. "I thought, 'If I give all my effort like I do in my career and other areas of my life, will that make a difference?'"
Yesterday, The New York Times printed a small piece on edible beauty products, highlighting such odd concoctions as Nutra Resveratrol Anti-Ageing Water and, even more disturbing, a coffee in Singapore that contains collagen, and which is meant to improve the skin. In Japan, they even add collagen to yogurt drinks, dried fruits and other foods. It seems like a weird way to go in order to simultaneously satisfy your beauty and your caffeine fix. Then again, we've seen worse.