Frank was the anti-striver. When we first started dating, I was tired of men who detailed how they'd earn their first million, become partner or make their fellow MBA buddies jealous. Frank was my rebellion, the stake I planted to showcase my expansive egalitarianism; after all, I had dated a black man, a much older man, and (oh yes, oops), a married one. The expectations of my white, upward-striving, narrow-minded suburban upbringing were not for me. Take that, I seemed to be saying (to whom I don't know), I'll date and marry whom I please. This is all true. But so is this: I fell in love. Fell in love, as it happens, upon first seeing him in a high school play, though we wouldn't meet for two years, or seriously date for ten. But what matters, finally, in the very long run is this: I married him because I love him and I still do. Before we married, I didn't give a lot of thought to which color collars we were each wearing. We were both earning money, expenses were low, the savings account high. Frank's no-college status was not a deal breaker; his almost-final divorce and my over-controlling nature were.
Would you date someone with an STD? Would you want them to be honest about it? Honesty is understood at PositiveSingles.com, an online dating community for those who reject a life of seclusion as part of their STD-prognosis. Whether they have HPV or HIV, members can use Positive Singles to find romance, friendship, or simply support. Each member's specific STD is cited on their profile alongside otherwise-standard information, and users can sift through profiles by searching for specific STDs or any other information. Genital herpes and HPV seem to be most prevalent on the site, according to a Love Buzz browse. As for profiles, photos can be posted but are not necessary, making anonymity totally possible. But, by and large, you'd be hard-pressed to find a member with horns, or any scarlet letter whatsoever. In fact, most members who post pictures are pretty good-looking–so much so that the vast number of photo-free profiles is a bit disappointing.
Forget everything you think about men and women. Dr. Janet Hyde argues that the sexes really aren't that different after all. From nurturing, communication and sympathy some researchers believe that all of this Mars and Venus stuff should go the way of Pluto: "People think that they can’t communicate across gender in heterosexual couples and this is a problem. But in fact communication styles are quite similar and men and women communicate quite well all the time. Sometimes when I give talks to big audiences, after talking for about 20 minutes, I say are you understanding me and of course they are. I am speaking perfect English."
A study conducted by the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation found a link between preference of Mexican food and personality traits. What's more is that they also found a link between the food preference and relationship compatibility. So, are you a Taco Ted or a Burrito Bill? The answer could mean a lot.
Creating a profile, posting photos, searching for matches, and sending winks (a.k.a. flirting) on Match.com is free, but any further contact requires a paid subscription ($39.99 per one month, or as little as $19.99/month for six). Features include: IM, matchMobile for access on your phone/ PDA, sending and responding to e-mail sent to your personal box via double-blind email@example.com address. If you opt for the 6-month "Love Package" as it's called, and you emerge single you can qualify for six free months—as long as you've fully completed your profile and emailed five new members a month.
Compatibility is the key to success in a relationship, right? Not so fast says Dr. Patricia Covalt. It turns out that empathy and understanding go much farther than mutual interests in determining success in marriage. She lays out a handful of smart questions that will help you determine your EQ (Emotional Intelligence) and may help you to make yours a successful long-term relationship.
YourTango got together with the author of "1001 Questions To Ask Before You Get Married." Monica Mendez Leahy gives us a sneak preview of ten of the most important questions to ask before you get engaged. Check it out and find out how well you really know your mate and if this thing has a shot at forever. How you were in high school and how you pack your bags can reflect on what type of person you are and the compatibility of you and your future spouse. It's wise to question his motives and background before you get married.
To avoid devastating surprises down the line, every couples needs to have candid conversations about their financial standing before two become one. Abby Ellin talks to the experts for advice on navigating these awkward topics—and cautions on the dangers of not talking about money before marriage.
"He wasn't my type. We worked together, and he kept asking me to do things with him, in a collegial sort of way. But when my friends asked if he might be a romantic possibility, I assured them that he wasn’t my type at all. I had always been attracted to powerful older men—the kind who charm the pants off every woman they meet. You can imagine how well this worked out for me." He just wasn't her type; but she married him anyway. Upon their first meeting, Leslie Bennetts was convinced that her husband of 18 years was totally wrong for her. Years later, she marvels at how little she knew back then. Turns out, he was the one.