What if your life was perfect? What if all paths actually led up the mountain regardless of what choices you made, how much money you had or lost, how many times you were married or had sex, if you cheated or were totally devoted to the same person for 65 years? What if no matter which way you turned, a hundred or a thousand times, it all led to the same place? What if enough was what you already have? What if you were born with it and no matter what you did, it would be simply to gain more of what you already have? What if right now, it was true that you have enough love, enough attention, enough freedom, enough health, enough sex, enough courage and enough of what it takes to know you can never really have any more than what you have right now?
"We can't seem to connect anymore." This is one of the most common complaints I hear in my counseling practice. We all know that it is generally easy to connect at the beginning of a relationship - before all the protections and defenses come up. But what do you do to reconnect once you feel disconnected from each other?
How do you "celebrate" Valentines' Day when there is that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that your partner somewhere back on the road of the relationship has died? One of the most difficult marriage counseling cases is the one where one of the spouses is dead. Marriages where parties are fighting are still engaging, there is still passion on some level. It is the spouse who is “dead on arrival” when it comes to relating in the marriage that brings a very challenging situation to the counseling room. If your spouse has recently suggested you look in the obituaries to find your marriage, read on for some great pointers to give you help and hope.
A skit on Saturday Night Live about twenty years ago depicted a man and woman standing outside of a 'therapist's' office. One actor asks the other if this is his office. He answers ‘Yes” and she slaps him across the face. He acknowledged being 'TheRapist'.
In the land of the strange but true, as a former Tibetan Buddhist nun I fell in love with and married a man who counsels sex addicts and who is a recovering sex addict himself. Joining him in his counseling practice has allowed me a look into the lives of many people who have struggled with sex and relationship addictions.
Living resiliently represents a whole new way of being and doing. In this way, resilience isn't just for the hard times...it's for all times. Empowering us to live, love, and work adventurously in the face of change, it builds a well from which we can draw for the rest of our lives.
Recently, my son and his long-time girlfriend, with whom I had a close relationship, broke up and although these things happen usually for the best, I couldn’t help but feel saddened by the news. I could not imagine just letting her slip out of my life as if she had never been there and mattered, so I decided to give her a compassion call. Well, according to some, you would have thought that this was absolutely the worst imaginable decision I could have ever made! I heard things like this:
Too often we think of listening as waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can get our opinion, feelings, or thoughts expressed. Although this is a common habit, with your willingness and steady practice you can develop the very fundamental skill of listening into a true art form, one that conveys compassion for the other. Here I offer three simple steps to work with: Hearing, Absorbing, and Reflecting.
As women, it is crucial to be surrounded by beauty. It’s also a sign of auspiciousness. Your environment ‘talks’ to you on a daily basis, subtly influencing your perceptions of reality. Women tend to be more sensitive to their environments whether they’re conscious of it or not. Therefore, it is mandatory for you to program your environment to tell you the truth about who you are instead of allowing it to repeat negative habits or patterns.
Perhaps we've all had an intimate partner who has said or done things to us that seem simply unforgivable. Can you remember a circumstance where you spoke hurtful or hateful words, and later recognized that you did not really mean them? The context of your life affected the content of what you said. Maybe you were tired, afraid, angry, stressed, or feeling hurt. In that moment you just had to defend yourself, get some space, work through anxiety, or vent some frustration.
Good relationships don’t just happen. I’ve heard many of my clients state that, “If I have to work at it, then it’s not the right relationship.” This is not a true statement, any more than it’s true that you don’t have to work at good physical health through exercise, eating well, and stress reduction.
There’s no one on the planet who hasn’t been in a situation wherein tempers and/or emotions escalated – perhaps even dramatically – due to miscommunication or poor communication. When this has happened in your own life, you’ve likely looked back on it afterwards and wondered how things got so out of control. You might even have tried to determine who was to blame fr the bad communication , or perhaps you ended up pursuing avenues of explanation that resulted in self-doubt or justifications for the communication mishap and resulting behavior.
I know, I know...we live life at a whirlwind pace these days. It's easy to get caught up in it all...and a real challenge to stop instead to take in some of the smaller details. However, it is the inbetween moments where we find peace and kindness...both sources of feeling supported and cared for.
You’re walking down the street, enjoying a beautiful day when you step on something. It tugs at the bottom of your shoe. You look down to see what’s holding you back and roll your eyes. As you raise your foot up, a web of pink trails from the bottom of your shoe back toward the ground. 1. Notice when you feel as if you’re holding yourself back, stuck or stopped.
We all want happier relationships with the one we love, but we don't know how to make it happen. Here are 10 tips to get you started. Remember, you can get your free Get Acquainted session with Michelle by going to her web site and emailing her.