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hi im new here and dont realy know what to write. ive have been single for 5 years and have not dated since. Im a shy person and just dont knowwher eto start. I am overwieght so that does make me a litle unsacure.I am raising 2 kids and do child homecare. I dont have much time and im pretty leary with online dating.

the big 4 today

the big 4 today

alright  so its thursday  I am on day 3 of the worst migraine of 2009. Yay me !!! Part of my job, I dooo love my job don't get me wrong, is answering this non stop ringing  phone. But on days like yesterday and today I really want to wrap the cord around my neck and strangle myself. and today is the four month anniversary of our Wedding. Yes we are sooo high schooly about our monthly anniversaries. Oh  come on we are in our first year  we can be all giddy. But between his back and my head we might kill each other groaning about our pains before the weekend actually gets here. Lucky me I am off tomorrow, whew. I am taking myself to the doc to have this headache checked out before I start thinking my brain has turned itself into one giant tumor. On the relationship tip we are doing really well since last week. We had the "blowout". Well i did anyways. I guess you could say i tried to hold in too much for too long. We just got married and he lost his job.

Y DO I EVEN TRY ??????

WELL  I HAVE HAD MY SHARE OF BAD RELATIONSHIPS..... NAD WHATS KRAZY ABOUT THEM IS THAT I TRY. I TRY TO DO THE WHOLE GOOD GIRLFRIEND / WIFE THING. U KNOW TO SHOW THEM THAT I CAN DO BOTH TITLES WELL. AND THEY USUALLY GO WELL IN THE BEGINNING BUT AS TIME GOES ON AND COMFORT IS THERE... THE MALE THINKS THAT THEY CAN COME AND GO WHEN EVER IS CONVENIENT.  AT FIRST NOTHING IS SAID BUT LATER I DO SAY "WHAT THE HELL?" AND THEY GO AWAY STOP CALLING NO TEXT MESSAGES OR EMAILS.... Y IS THAT??? Y DONT I EVER GET A CHANCE TO ASK WHAT YOU RUN AWAY FOR SISSY? LOL.... BUT THE KICKER IS WHEN U RUN INTO THEM LATER IN LIFE AND THEY WANT TO HOOK UP AGAIN LIKE NOTHING .... AT FIRST U WANT TO CUZ DAMN THIS FOOL WAS EVERYTHING TO YOU BACK THEN BUT NOW ITS LIKE "ANO".... THEN U FIND OUT THAT THEY ARE MARRIED WITH THREE KIDS  AND WITH A GIRL FRIEND WHO HAS ONE ON THE WAY....LOL AINT THAT SOME SH!T !!!!!!!

Am I not alone?

While living in an open relationship, I find there are very few people I can talk to about it!