I write this brief piece to ensure the longevity and survival of the male gender. If you can figure out the difference between what she says and what she really wants to say, you can SAVE YOURSELF! What She Says: I like you, but I don't want to ruin our friendship.What She Means: I am -0.00024% attracted to you. In fact, I actually thought you were gay when you decided to do everything I want and go shopping with me. Your friend is hot though, can you hook a sister up?! What She Says: Do we really have to go to that bar tonight?What She Means: I don't wanna go hang out with you and your Dbag friends at the bar again. If I do, I will psychologically torture you and withhold sex from you indefinitely until you get the point. What She Says: Does my butt look big in this?What She Means: You have been so into other people's butts lately (no pun intended). Can you look at mine for a second? Only say something nice or I'll put this fork through your eye, I've been practicing.
Call me crazy but I believe it is completely possible to fall in love and marry your first boyfriend/girlfriend. I may be young and naive but why couldn't it work? I'll be the first to say that I'm a very picky person when choosing a mate. That is part of the reason that I choose to not date until my early twenties. Why should I waste my time with guys whom I knew it wouldn't work out with. That all changed when I met Andrew.
Being confused about what he's saying, and attempting to read between the lines
Ladies, Cosmo did a poll and it appears that 57% of us ladies think it's okay for us to reach into our wallets on the first date? Crazy! Sorry, I think a 57% of us need to allow a man to court us. With recession and pedicures only lasting 2 weeks it's nice to be treated right? I'm an independent woman and I pay all my bills and everything I want I buy myself but I still don't move a finger when the tab hits the table on the first date. I appreciate when a man courts me and shows me a good time at his expense. If I wanted to go dutch I would hang out with the chicas. On a date? This b---- is getting a free meal and drinks. What do you ladies think?
Ladies, do you ever NOT shave your legs or your vay jay jay just so you don't fall into temptation and sleep with a guy? The dry humping is getting hot and heavy on his couch and his python is ready to bust out of his pants and the only thing that is saving you from doing the dirty is that fuzzy peach you're hiding in those undies. Or what about those horrendous granny panties that will leave his penis in a comatose stage in seconds? Do any of these girl tricks work? I have to personally say that yes, not being in open house condition has stopped me from sleeping with a guy and seriously, I will drive home thanking god and my ingenuity otherwise I would be in some hot mess ;)
I have a friend who lives in the BIG city and knows a BIG guy. We've always called him "el Dominicano" and not to be stereotypical but because Dominican is BIG and we have names for every guy. There was "el flaco", "el flower boy", "Egyptian a.k.a King Tut", "the ginger" and "el loco". All girls have names for the guy. I have never seen el Dominicano's face face but I have seeing how BIG he is. I almost choked on my food the moment that picture came through on my cell. I think my battery died right after. That thing was huge and very healthy. Beautiful, glistening, ready to come out and play. Yes, it was big enough to scare the vay jay jay. But that's why there's Motrin and alcohol. The art of deep relaxation and deep breathing.
Ladies, can you spot a small guy? Well, let's share these interesting signs shared by other ladies and see if we can code him! Small men have BIG egos: A small man has struggled all through out life knowing he's the minnow in the big and vast male ocean so he has mastered the art of creating an ego bigger than size and creating the illusion that even though he's a half-pint he's more valuable than gold. Their skyscraper egos are a result from excelling at the idea of "success". These man have extravagant lifestyles, over the top cars that the average man with an average size penis could probably not afford, a BIG network of friends and connections. He's that Chihuahua with a Rottweiler bark, you follow me? Small men are masters of oral sex:
1. She holds grudges easily: We're emotional and often hormonal. When we PMS we want to crack skulls with our stilettos but by the end of the day we take a chill pill and relax. When your "girlfriend" fights, it's personal. She becomes spiteful and anything is fair game. When she claws it out, she goes for the eyes so you'll be that blind bitch that never gets married and ends up with 12 cats.
I don't think many women will disagree with the idea that foreplay is a must before having sex with a man for the first time. There's nothing more disappointing than having a man just trying to jump on top of you without giving your some mouth love- dry sex is as uncomfortable as a vending machine tampon. Agreed? Only during quickies should you forego oral sex. Any other time you better expect the man to get on his knees and give you some tongue action. I actually have to come out and admit that oral sex in porn is such a huge turn on. It's so sexy to see a man on his knees eating a woman and watching her get off as he licks her plate clean. It's hot.