Except when my boyfriend and I are in each other’s company, we communicate exclusively through text message and Facebook chats. Over the past six months that we’ve been dating, I can literally count on one hand the number of times we’ve talked on the phone. Actually, I just need two fingers.
CBS New York's Jennifer McLogan reported recently that "[t]he hardest desires to resist seem to be social networking sites, not sexual relationships," adding, "While the urge for sex is stronger, people are more likely to give in to the desire [for] social media."
Sometimes love is blind, especially when your partners supports the opposing political party. But, even a loving relationship can combust when those contrasting viewpoints lead to conflicts.
The term "football widows" was coined to describe how women feel when their men park themselves in front of the TV or are off to the stadium for — what feels like — the whole weekend. Fortunately, your partner's love of the game doesn't have to tear you apart.
Whatever. Fine. I don't know. Do those phrases just push every button you've got? It used to make me crazy when my (now 27-year old) son answered 'cool' to everything, including incredibly sad news. It took forever for me to understand that 'cool' just meant 'I heard what you said.'
Ever since relationship counselor John Gray (click here for a bit more about him and his work) wrote his bestseller “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”, promoting the idea that communication difficulties among heterosexual couples are unavoidable because men and women speak different languages, I’ve wondered whether that’s really true. Of course, I decided to immediately conduct a bit of sociological research by paying attention to the ways men and women I knew interacted.
Have you seen the movie, All I Wanna Do? It's a relatively unknown film from the late 1990s. On the surface, this movie about an all-girls boarding school in the early 1960s is fluff. But as the story develops, we learn that some of the girls are there because they are rebels, hard to handle, there because their parents didn’t know what else to do. Fluff, fluff, fluff… And then they learn that, because of financial difficulties, the school will merge with a boy’s prep school.
Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, "Asking for What You Want," I explained how to ask cleanly and directly for what you want, and that being direct has a better success rate. While that’s true, it isn’t infallible. Sometimes, it’s necessary to use a technique I call "gentle persistence."
There are 4 Types of people in this world. And they all have unique motivations and priorities in relationships. If you and your partner are different Types, you might be stepping all over each other's emotional toes without even knowing it! Time to figure out what's going on so you don't make a deal-breaking mistake... The mistake you make with Type 1's:
Every couple has some aggravations with their relationship that seem to defy understanding. “Why in the heck does he/she keep doing that when it is guaranteed to start an argument?” Sometimes these puzzles are hard to figure out. But if you ask different questions or ask them in a different way, you might get a new insight about why these things happen. This takes some detective work but the effort is worthwhile to increase understanding and perhaps avoid some of those common relationship annoyances.
Communication should be prominent in relationships, sometimes we tend to forget that the type of communication and how we address our concerns are just as important. In other words, there are things to keep in mind when talking to your man. So instead of focusing on the things you need to talk about, I thought I should point out the things women should never a man.
Violence is not limited to the physical realm. Words can be brutal, violent and abusive to a great extent, often without intent. Projecting violence in words is counterproductive and toxic for the sender as much as for the recipient. MB Rosenberg, the thinker behind non-violent communication, nailed down the 6 communication behaviors we'd better avoid:
What; PMS and intimacy in the same sentence? Yes, they do go hand in hand and let me tell you how and why. First of all, let’s take a look at what PMS REALLY is. To do that I have to explain to you that in my world and the work that I do, I love to redefine negative concepts and language, imbuing them with positivity. Life after all is all about perspective. We tend to believe what we’ve been told growing up by the adults in our life, as well as buying into all the media messages we are bombarded with constantly.
My name is Jamie, and I survived an interfaith marriage. Hmm…sound anything like the beginning of a support group? There have been many times over the years when I’ve felt in need of one to cope with my spiritual upbringing. One of my most formative memories is, as an eight-year-old child, having my Catholic mother and Pentecostal-Evangelical father argue about the doctrine of the Immaculate Conception over dinner…and then candidly asking me for my opinion.
At a time when fifty percent (or more) of marriages end in divorce, it is no surprise that one of the most frequent questions I am asked is, “Is there anything I can do to keep my marriage/relationship from falling apart?” The good news is, yes, if you and your partner really want your relationship to “go the distance” and avoid being just another sad, divorce statistic, there are three specific, and deceptively simple things you can do right now to start