Last year I opened the virtual doors to my own business. It was a dream come true brought about by hard work and lots of advice from some really brilliant people. One piece of advice I received from a number of sources was to get active on social media but to make sure that my activity wasn’t political. This advice might be good for some people and some companies but I don’t think it’s good advice for me.
Have you heard this story? An elderly man was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night. The man replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." The officer then asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" The man replied, "That would be my wife."
Ever reflect on an argument and ask yourself, “What on earth was I thinking when I said that?!” Well, the field of social neuroscience is providing answers to help us understand our outbursts. Our brains have two almond-shaped masses called amygdalae that are in charge of processing our emotional reactions. The amygdalae regulate our fight or flight response, which was created as a survival mechanism to allow us to react quickly to stimuli before giving our rational brain time to interpret the stimuli. In critical situations, our amygdalae respond
What you say? I've been taught to be of service, the community comes first. I pride myself on helping others. It sounds pretty selfish to me. How can I do that? You don't understand! I've got kids, a job, a husband, an ailing parent to take care of, a to do list that won't quit! I do get it. Totally! I've been there, held hostage in the vice of my inner critic who would claim to the world that I must do it all in some underlying guise of nobility. It's a booby trap!
Or how to listen so he'll talk and how to talk so she'll listen. Listening intently to another person may just be the most amazing gift you can offer. I used to work on the 24/7 suicide crisis line in France and we were trained in Carl Rogers non-directive empathetic listening skills. When a call would come in, I would greet the caller with, "Hello, SOS Amitié." And wait for the person to speak up. Sometimes it would take a rather long moment, moments in which hesitations and silences give a lot of information to the intuitive listener.
Dating a guy who sends mixed messages is not only counter-productive, but it’s also frustrating, confusing and severely annoying. Unfortunately, it’s a part of the dating game and it’s something all of us have dealt with at one point or another. So when it happens, how do you deal with it? This week, one of our followers asks: Dear @Instigaytor,
I was posed a question which I find interesting. “Would you like to know if someone hit on me during the day?” Not in a “this is sexual harassment, I need you to beat this guy down,” kind of way, but in a “would something like that be too much information to share,” kind of way. The point of the question is essentially, “Are there some things we should not share within our relationship?”
In the middle of a serious conversation a few weeks ago, my husband got up to get himself a cup of water. I was incensed! Here we were, having this serious discussion and he has a sudden urge for water that he couldn't control? In a fury I tell him, "I would never have done that to you!" I felt totally dismissed by him. You know what else he does? He sleeps when he is tired, and he goes to the bathroom when he has the urge. For women … these actions are revolutionary. For men, setting aside these needs would be insanity.
No one gets into a serious relationship thinking it won't last. When you find someone you can trust and feel safe with, you naturally imagine growing old together. But all too often really good relationships that should last forever just fall apart. Why does that happen? It's often because of three common communication mistakes that, if not caught in time, will tear two people apart.
"Is it normal that my husand ... ?" Have you ever asked yourself this question and wondered whether or not that thing your partner just said or did was okay? Many of us second-guess ourselves. We worry that we're making a big deal out of nothing. We don't want to start a fight or make things tense, but certain behaviors feel hurtful or seem like huge red flags.
Question I have a great boyfriend, who is smart, funny, and cute. We get along really well, except for one problem - his job involves a lot of travel and there are times when he is on the road for months. I find his absences difficult to deal with (although when he returns, we seem to be fine again).
A narcissist may come across as arrogant and selfish. They undermine others to inflate their own sense of self. They truly believe that the world revolves around them. People and things are there for them to use when and if they please. They are unable to show true empathy for others, which make it difficult to maintain a loving, healthy relationship.
Communication is supposed to be helped by technology, right? We're available 24/7 now, through cell phones, texting, Facebook, Twitter, email, etc. We may be communicating, but are we relating? Is a Facebook friend really a friend? Is the first time you tell the person you're dating that you love them in a text? I know couples who have fights because one wasn't effusive enough about the other on Facebook.
Rarely does jealousy manifest out of thin air. Usually there are very real things going on in your relationship or life that trigger jealousy. These might be more intense because of something that happened in your past or maybe because of something going on now.
Women often complain that it's hard to get a man to talk. Or, when they do sit down and talk with a man, that he gets resistant or argumentative, doesn't tell the full truth or just tells her whatever he thinks she wants to hear. Why does he do this? Often, it's because he's had bad experiences talking with you or other women and has developed some defense mechanisms to avoid further punishment.
Don't take ANYTHING at all personally. This can be difficult advice to swallow. Sure, when a complete stranger cuts you off in traffic while making rude hand gestures at you, it's pretty easy not to take it on. Most of us can chock a moment like that up to another person's bad day (or bad life) that has nothing whatsoever to do with us. But, there are countless other occasions when it's far more difficult not to take personally what someone else says or does.
Everybody knows about jealousy, right? Maybe you've read the claim that a "little" jealousy is good for your love relationship or marriage, or that when your partner is jealous, it means that he or she really cares. If you struggle with jealousy, you probably know how painful and destructive it can be. Not only is jealousy not good for your relationship, it's not good for you either.