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Communication Secret #4 Don't Take It Personally!
Experts Blog

Communication Secret #4 Don't Take It Personally!

Welcome to Secret #4 of 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication SECRET #4 - Quit Taking It Personally What someone says is about them. What we hear is about us. Kelly Bryson, MFT and author of "Don’t Be Nice, Be Real” gives some great tips inspired by Stan Dale, founder of the Human Awareness Institute who coined the acronym, Q-TIP, for Quit Taking It Personally.

3 Easy Ways To End The Bitch/Yell/Nag/Whine/ Doom Loop
Experts Blog

3 Easy Ways To End The Bitch/Yell/Nag/Whine/ Doom Loop

Are you in a nasty doom loop with your partner?  You know the kind where you ask for something, he says he’ll do it, he doesn’t do it right away, and then you keep asking, he calls you a nag, you yell at him, he eventually does it, and you both feel like crap?  That one?  Or do you really want to ask your partner for something or to have a serious talk yet you find yourself too nervous to do so, so you never do and then you get more and more resentful because you aren’t getting your needs met, and he’s completely not understanding what’s going

Lovestyles
Experts Blog

Lovestyles

It was one of those magical encounters with a personal truth—you know how it feels. I was fifteen, in ninth-grade English. The teacher, Mr. Rizzutto, read us a poem, and it had such a profound effect on me that even five decades later, I’m still using it as a guide. The poem, “Outwitted,” by Edwin Markham, is simple:   He drew a circle that shut me out; Heretic; rebel; a thing to flout. But Love and I had the wit to win: We drew a circle that took him in.

7 Secrets To Mastering Communication Secret #2 - Compassion
Experts Blog

7 Secrets To Mastering Communication Secret #2 - Compassion

Welcome to my 7-Part Series, 7 Secrets To Mastering Communication SECRET #2 - Compassion “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.” ~ Dalai Lama XIV Compassion means, “I understand and I get you.” It means I’m walking alongside you, not necessarily in your in your shoes because I cannot truly know what you are experiencing.

Why Unplugging  Social Media Can Save Your Relationship
Experts Blog

Why Unplugging Social Media Can Save Your Relationship

We live in an amazing age where there are so many methods of communication open to us, so many ways to stay in touch with the people who are important to us. However, in the case of our most intimate relationships, sometimes the best communication methods are the old-fashioned ones. In fact a recent article in Australia’s News.com stated that Oxford University psychologists found husbands and wives who kept in touch using technology ha

3 Ways Your Online Addiction Can Kill Your Sex Life
Experts Blog

3 Ways Your Online Addiction Can Kill Your Sex Life

It’s almost impossible to live in this modern metropolitan world without some form of online attachment and it can really get in the way of our romantic relationships if we don’t watch out. I was rather late to the internet-party but now I’d say I’m certifiably addicted. Leave the smart phone home for the afternoon…? Not a chance! I’d hate to be ‘out of touch’. This kind of constant interaction online can interfere with our in-person relationships.  Especially sexually.

Does Your Brain Contribute to Your Arguments?
Experts Blog

Does Your Brain Contribute to Your Arguments?

Ever reflect on an argument and ask yourself, “What on earth was I thinking when I said that?!”  Well, the field of social neuroscience is providing answers to help us understand our outbursts.  Our brains have two almond-shaped masses called amygdalae that are in charge of processing our emotional reactions.  The amygdalae regulate our fight or flight response, which was created as a survival mechanism to allow us to react quickly to stimuli before giving our rational brain time to interpret the stimuli.  In critical situations, our amygdalae respond

Is Hot Sex Possible in a Long-Term Monogamous Relationship?
Experts Blog

Is Hot Sex Possible in a Long-Term Monogamous Relationship?

Is it possible to have hot sex while being monogamous? Like anything else out there, it takes work and a certain amount of creativity. The answer is a definite YES. It is MORE than possible to have a smokin’ hot monogamous relationship. I believe that is a big part of the reason why the mom porn book “50 Shades of Grey” is so popular – the women reading it are turned on by all the kinky monogamy.

Dealing with Mixed Messages from a Man
Experts Blog

Dealing with Mixed Messages from a Man

Dating a guy who sends mixed messages is not only counter-productive, but it’s also frustrating, confusing and severely annoying. Unfortunately, it’s a part of the dating game and it’s something all of us have dealt with at one point or another. So when it happens, how do you deal with it? This week, one of our followers asks:   Dear @Instigaytor,

8 Rules For Fighting Fair As A Couple
Rule #1: Use 'I' statements, not 'you' statements.
Experts Blog

8 Rules For Fighting Fair As A Couple

A useful conversation falls apart when partners attack, defend or withdraw. These 'rules' help to keep the connections clean. They are simple. They are not easy, but they will effectively change the way you address — and resolve — your disagreements.

8 Reasons You Should Consider Breaking-Up
Experts Blog

8 Reasons You Should Consider Breaking-Up

Sometimes we get so used to being in a relationship with someone –even a bad relationship– we forget what it felt like when things were good. There are lots of problems, but we avoid them. And when we do see them, we sometimes don’t do anything.     

Set Boundaries Without Pushing Your Partner Out the Door
Experts Blog

Set Boundaries Without Pushing Your Partner Out the Door

“It’s my way or the highway!” This is what’s often implied when people set boundaries. A harsh and rigid message that says, “Either you stop and do things MY way or else!”commonly underlies a communicated boundary, even if this wasn’t the intention. When you decide to set a boundary, it’s usually when a minor irritation or annoyance has grow bigger. A behavior or dynamic that you’ve tried to ignore has become more intense and more upsetting and you’re ready for a change.