What do you really mean when you say, "We can't communicate?" The trick is understanding what you mean by the word "communicate." All too often, when a partner says, "we can't communicate," what he or she means is "I can't get my partner to listen to me and understand things from my point of view." And underneath this, they may be saying, "If my partner only understood things through my eyes, he or she would change and do things my way." So, what partners often mean when they say, "We can't communicate," is "I want to control my partner but he or she won't listen."
The very idea of a "soul mate" conjures up the image of a perfect relationhip, but the truth is that all relationships need work. Here are 9 common myths debunked about soul mate relationships from "Soul mates are always romantic" to "Soul mates don't have conflict" to "Soul mates should think alike," along with tips on how to strengthen your relationships in the face of reality--whether your significant other is a "soul mate" or not.
Most of the relationship articles out there tend to be for heterosexual couples. I use part intuition and part knowledge on relationship dynamics to translate, adapt, and figure out what works best for you if you don't identify with or find yourself in traditional relationships. How and where you define yourself on the Kinsey spectrum scale of heterosexual to homosexual only matters when it masquerades the real you--and the complexity of human relationships. What really matters is understanding how and what to do to have long-lasting quality relationships.
We often think we are listening to someone, only to realize that we missed what they said. Either we were busy listening instead to the voices in our heads, or we were distracted by whatever was happening around us. When people ask how they can have better relationships with others, the first thing suggest is active listening.
When couples come to therapy, one of their very first assignments is to write down their mission statement for the marriage. I am asking them for the main reason they are married. The answers are varied and may look like, “We fell in love” or “We got pregnant.” Sometimes, the answers are a bit funny, such as “Who else would have me?” We sit and listen to the couples’ individual reasons and get an idea of what is important to them as a couple.
“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t being said.” -Anonymous The strength and endurance training in any and all relationships starts and ends with the capacity for communication. I have often called our communication skills the currency of a relationship, because it is literally the air that lives between people that makes their relationship vital or suffocating.
You've been playing that conversation with him over and over in your mind — defending yourself, trying to figure out what to do next. You are losing sleep, it makes your heart pound, it's hard to focus on work during the day. So, you finally see him, you are furious, and now you are dying to tell him what you really think of what he said or did. Well, stop! This is the wrong time to communicate.
I realize the dangerousness of my actions. I’m betraying my sex by talking about how hard men have it. It almost seems like a crime against nature. I’m willing to embrace the fallout (in a public women’s forum, no less), for the sake of the greater good. We’re at the height of a relationship revolution and if you decide to be one of the proactive few that apply this information, your boyfriend or husband will pay you back in kind. I’m here to say, men are getting a raw deal.
We recently shared the news that fewer couples are divorcing due to infidelity, which seems like a great victory for the legions of faithful, til-death-do-us-part men and women of the world. But unfortunately, though it's not causing married couples to beeline it to divorce court, the fact of the matter is this: Cheating still happens.
Gretchen Rubin, author of the brand new book The Happiness Project, has a suggestion for people who want to make their dating lives happier: Quit nagging!
First experiences of family life in a powerless child’s body often give you a sense of fear and a need to find a safe way to fit in your family environment in order to survive. Often these first experiences create a conditioning background in which you completely or partially lose your sense of wellbeing. At the same time, protection and trust are essential to your development and feeling “at home” in your surroundings and in your body.
Most of us assume that married couples who decide to “take a break” from their relationships are simply pressing the ‘pause’ button on a pre-determined, fatal outcome. But what if stepping back and giving yourself a mental vacation was the thing that actually SAVED your marriage? With our national divorce rate averaging approximately fifty percent of all couples, wouldn’t it be nice if there was a way out of this crisis?
When two people love each other, nothing is better than raising a family together. That said, parents often put their parenting and career responsibilities at the top of their priority list, and allow their marriage to fall to the bottom. Most parents are on an endless treadmill of chores, meals and responsibilities, and forget to invest in nurturing each other.
More and more I am surrounded by women over 35 years of age who want to get married, but cannot find a suitable partner. They have heard the best places to go for singles over 35, have been set up on numerous blind dates, have joined online dating, and still don’t have a ring on their finger. These women are educated, have a great job, great homes, gorgeous, and would make the perfect wife. What’s wrong? When I talk with these women, many think the problem may rest with the guys.
Couples often come to me for help with their communication. In fact, virtually every couple that I have ever seen has stated in one form or another that they have trouble communicating. They are usually referring to the way in which they verbally communicate with each other. However, there is another form of communication that is even more important and largely misunderstood, and that is the way the partners are thinking about each other.
Trying to get your guy to tell you what's bothering him? Wondering why he doesn't seem interested in hearing about your horrible day? Don't worry, ladies: It's not that your boyfriend doesn't care or that he's trying to seem strong. According to a new study, it's just that most males think discussing problems is a waste of time.
With depression affecting approximately 9.5% of American adults in a given year (1) knowing how to talk with a friend or loved one whom you feel may be depressed is an important skill to have. Because the very nature of depression causes people to shut down and withdraw emotionally, it may be especially important that you reach out to them as they may be unable to ask for help.