There’s a lot of stuff that changes about a person after living with a person they’re dating, after a while. There’s the Big Stuff, of course—ideas about the future, the possibility of personal identity in coupledom, masculinity and femininity, all that stuff. Then there are the Specific Things, particular to each person. The messy learn to become neater, the antisocial get used to being dragged to parties, the disinterested-in-television start to enjoy watching Top Chef or Rock of Love or Gossip Girl -- the gradual blending of personalities that takes place when two different people make the thousand compromises necessary to successfully cohabitate.
It's been a slow week in old tabloid land. So, we heard that John Mayer may want to get engaged at some point. We also heard that Jake Gyllenhaal may be ready for kids. Yawn. We wonder what Jennifer Aniston and Reese Witherspoon think about these rumors.
This week brings one more study to prove something we already know: living together before marriage doesn't mean you're going to get divorced. You may be thinking "duh" -- when you live together you gain an understanding of what your life would be like together - but until now research didn't support what common sense suggests. Studies from the '80s and '90s showed that couples that shacked up before wedded bliss were more likely to split up.
A while back, people were saying—and are still saying—that the institution of marriage was dead. That couples were not interested in and did not need to make their bonds legal. Well, not so, says The Guardian. In a recent article, new research suggests that it’s not the interest level that’s affecting declining marriage rates—it’s income levels.
For the last two years, government legal teams in the UK have been putting into place plans for granting rights to cohabiting couples. The reins are now being pulled on that plan. The Law Commission seeks to gather more data and perform more research before pulling the trigger for real.
According to rumour, Kate Middleton has moved into Prince William's apartments at Clarence House. This may be a bit of departure of the usual decorum of a royal relationship. We were under the impression that royals typically got engaged, married, and then moved in. Otherwise they're supposed to be spirited in and out under cover of nightfall. Oh well.
It was just report that in the UK more children are now born out-of-wedlock than to wed parents. This is a major shift, 30 years ago it was 1 in 10. The definition of illegitimate will probably have to be reassessed. Maybe illegitimate now can mean 'as a result of a one-night stand, drunken hookup, or illicit affair.'
Living on your own and shuffling between his place and yours is definitely. But what's the alternative? Cohabitation. But moving in together has it's ugly side. Do it too soon and the relationship could really be challenged. Living on your own may not be so bad after all. And it's not just about getting to keep your own belongings. This tale of consolidating addresses may give you pause or you may have all these space issues worked out.
Anne and RJ have bought a house and had a baby together. They share a bed; a bathroom; even a toothbrush when necessary. And yet; until a few months ago; their 200-plus CDs had remained strictly separate. Marrying each other; it turns out; didn't automatically mean marrying their stuff. Almost every couple we've talked to can relate. They may have cosigned a mortgage or even combined their DNA, but consolidate their books or music or art or furniture? That's a big commitment!
My friends and I seem to take dating a lot more seriously than our mothers did. Perhaps too seriously. We obsess about every interaction, overanalyze each conversation. As much as we crave relationships, they also scare the everloving crap out of us because we have all seen what can happen when a woman makes the wrong choice… I think it's vital to spend a long time getting to know someone before you commit to a life with him. But the constant analysis doesn't leave a girl with much hope of walking into a room one day and being love-struck, the way my mother was. Or so I always thought.
After cohabitating with three different men, the author declares her right to live alone despite society's pressure to move in. "Ever since I was a small child, I've wondered why people should have to live together. It's wonderful when you want to be together, mind you, but what about when you don't? Doesn't it make more sense to have the option, either way? Sometimes I spend a few days at my boyfriend's house. It is always difficult to leave. It is also always great to come home—at once comforting, liberating, exciting, even. What adventures await me here, in my own place, in the soft white whispers of my own private sanctuary, between my pen and my notebooks and me? There are days I scarcely leave my desk. I don't have to. I don't want to. And that's the end of it.
She moved in, now what? Dean Chandler shares his view on the trials and tribulations of moving in with a partner. Moving in together means different things for men and women, but it undeniably brings the relationship to a new level. From the idea of cohabitation (living in sin, to some) to figuring out whose stuff to keep, it's high on stress. Here, the author describes how essential compromise is and talks about recognizing a new and developing intimacy.