Can I Believe He Loves Me When He Drinks Much More Than I Want?
Experts Blog

Can I Believe He Loves Me When He Drinks Much More Than I Want?

I well remember the first time it happened, about a year into our marriage. The evening meal was ready to be served up and I was listening out for the usual key in the door. Why on earth was he so late?  First I was angry because the food was burning, but as the minutes ticked by. anger was replaced by anxiety and by the time he eventually arrived a couple of hours later, swaying unsteadily on his feet I was absolutely frantic.  He calmed me down and talked himself adroitly out of his tight corner ……… a very old friend ……….

Counter-dependence: Too Much You, Not Enough Love
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Counter-dependence: Too Much You, Not Enough Love

I agree that it's good to honor and appreciate yourself by filling up one's life with self-honoring activities. The fact is, most of us want love, whether male or female, straight or not or both, at the end of the day. I've seen myself and others get so into "loving themselves" that it eventually turned into counter-dependence.

Oz the Great Narcissist & Why You Should Not Date One
Experts Blog

Oz the Great Narcissist & Why You Should Not Date One

I went to see the new Disney movie, Oz the Great and Powerful, as soon as it came out. I wanted to see it for all the reasons that the millions of people – who paid over $80 million the opening weekend – wanted to see it.  But I wanted to see it for personal reasons as well. I wrote a book on the Wizard of Oz (entitled Follow the Yellow Brick Road: How to Change for the Better When Life Gives You Its Worst) and I wanted to see how the Wizard that I wrote about compared to Wizard in the movie … and I did (See Article entitled, Oz the Great and Powerful Relationship

Are You A Fixer?
Experts Blog

Are You A Fixer?

When we hear someone upset or complain, or when someone comes to us with a problem, it's easy, and actually pretty common for us to want to fix the problem for that person. We don’t want to see that person suffering. But in reality, more often than not we actually end up doing the person a disservice by coming from this focus of wanting to fix their problems for them.

"Help! I'm Codependent In My Relationships"
How do I stop this cycle of codependency?
Love Buzz

"Help! I'm Codependent In My Relationships"

When I'm not in a relationship with anyone, I feel OK. I spend more time with my friends, I go out, I keep active, but I do generally enjoy being in a relationship more than not being in one. This doesn't mean I actively look for relationships, but when I do have one it kind of takes over me.

Learned Helplessness: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?
Experts Blog

Learned Helplessness: Are You Doing Too Much for Your Child?

Your teen leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. Instead of getting into another fight with him or nagging him to pick them up, you do it for him. It’s easier, right? Your daughter with ADD is having problems completing her science project. She can’t seem to focus and complains that it’s boring and too difficult. After she goes to sleep, you finish it for her. After all, you don’t want her to fail.

Taking Care of Yourself Will Help Take Care Your Relationship
Experts Blog

Taking Care of Yourself Will Help Take Care Your Relationship

Are you a person who takes care of everyone else before yourself? Do you believe you should put yourself last? If you take care of other's needs before your needs routinely, then you may have co-dependent tendencies. Taking care of yourself enables you to then be available to take care of others. If you neglect your personal needs and wishes and care for others instead, then you may begin to feel resentful and "empty." In a relationship, co-dependent behaviors can potentially sabotage your relationship success.