Lately much of my work as a life coach has been focused on helping parents to find a healthy balance between helicopter parenting and “forget it, do whatever you want” parenting. As evidenced by the slightly crazed look in parent’s eyes when I suggest that they are hovering, finding that balance is a tough one. I struggle with it with my own three children yet one pervasive thought helps me stay on the ‘hold on loosely’ end of the parenting spectrum; the story my children will tell about themselves when they are old enough to venture out on their
A break-up can break you apart. And it can be hard to put yourself back together. Even though you might be happy to finally be away from your ex, you may still suffer from some loneliness. If you were dumped, you might feel rejected. If you both grew apart, you may feel lost. If you did the dumping, you may suffer from some guilt emotions. But now you need to ask yourself, “What do I need?”
My son was 3 and bath time meant time with 40 floating toys, lots of bubbles and his snorkeling mask. It also meant I could make dinner 15 feet away in relative peace. It was an evening ritual that worked for both of us. One night he yelled from the tub, “Mommy! Mommy!
They sat around the dining room table, playing Candyland--the mother, the grandmother, the 4 ½ year old boy and his 2 ½ year old sister. There was laughter and enthusiasm and good will. Then the little sister had had enough of being sedentary and attentive. She scooped up all the pieces, shoveled them over to herself and yelled, “All mine.” There was a quiet moment, and, then, the little boy stamped his hand on the table and said, “I hate her.” Without pause, the Mom said in an indignant fashion, “You don’t hate her, you love h
In political chambers throughout the country, including in our national Capitol, political leaders give annual addresses to talk about how we are doing and what challenges we need to face in the year ahead. Thinking about the highlights offered in the State of the Union tonight, there are similar categories that you could use to evaluate your union. How would you rate your marriage, domes
Sometimes life doesn't turn out as you had expected. But the truth is, when you are dealt a bad hand, you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back in the game. Giving up, feeling sorry for yourself, and crying over the unfairness of it all doesn't cut it. Parents of special needs children know this to be true.
I was walking to my car the other day and passed by a mother with her child of 2-3 years. They were sitting at a table finishing up what appeared to be their lunch. When I was a few yards away, the child quietly asked the mother for something, to go somewhere. The mother's reply: "If you're good, then we'll do that." She not only said it once, but for some reason (perhaps at the child's insistence) repeated herself a couple more times.
This morning was heartbreaking. (To read about my complete meldown, click here.) It all started with a morning cuddle, my 6-yr old climbing into bed, sharing sweet nothings about life. 20 minutes later, when I told him we had to get up and get ready, he started to cry. He begged me to let him skip school, told me he had a fever, and then that he had a headache. He moved slowly, protesting every step of what is normally a functional and easy morning routine. By the time we got in the car
Last week I asked my children, “How can I be a better mom to you?” I got the idea from a friend who had asked her daughter the same question. Her daughter, who is in high school, said “Can we read together at night?” How great is that? I was sure that my children would ask for things like more screen time, less rules, messy rooms, and more spending money. Many moms that I talk to don’t think they are doing a good job as parents. They are sure that they are ruining their children in some dramatic fashion and that othe
It felt like my heart was broken, shattered like a figurine suddenly knocked off the shelf. I should have, but I didn’t see it coming. I felt lost and alone. Hopeless and grieving. I felt sad and guilty that my children were hurting so badly and nothing I could do could make it better. I couldn't figure out what to do next. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Sometimes I'd wake up in a panic in the night, afraid of ... I don't even know what I was afraid of. So when my neighbor said "I know how you feel Terri ..." I almost came apart. HOW on earth could she possibly know how I felt? I didn't even know! And if she did know, how did she survive? I heard the same thing, over and over and over again.... for years!
Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire. Here are the main reasons why:
With the recent announcement of Bethenny Frankel & Jason Hoppy’s marriage coming to an end, “soon-to-be divorced” becomes their current relationship status. This transition period of deciding to no longer be together to a finalized divorce can be a lengthy and emotional time period. Similar to the limbo period between heaven and hell, the waiting for closure can create a place of purgatory for even the strongest of people. It would be very easy to spend this time in mourning for the death of a relationship.
When I was a child, it seemed like every adult in my zip code had an uncanny skill for making a “mountain out of a molehill.” In other words, of taking the smallest shred of negativity and amplifying all the tyranny and rottenness that shred of negativity may have implied. Before I go any further, let me give credit where credit is due. Exaggeration—the ability to weave a grand story out of next to nothing—is a very creative endeavor. It takes a keen eye, creative determination, and a lofty ability to wax poetic on all that is wrong.
It is so difficult to know the right thing to say. It depends on your child’s age, previous experiences, and temperament (some children are more sensitive than others), Even though many of our children live far away from Newtown, they may have feelings of fear, anxiety, and confusion. They may ask questions, such as, “Why were the children killed and will this happen in our school?”