It felt like my heart was broken, shattered like a figurine suddenly knocked off the shelf. I should have, but I didn’t see it coming. I felt lost and alone. Hopeless and grieving. I felt sad and guilty that my children were hurting so badly and nothing I could do could make it better. I couldn't figure out what to do next. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Sometimes I'd wake up in a panic in the night, afraid of ... I don't even know what I was afraid of. So when my neighbor said "I know how you feel Terri ..." I almost came apart. HOW on earth could she possibly know how I felt? I didn't even know! And if she did know, how did she survive? I heard the same thing, over and over and over again.... for years!
Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire. Here are the main reasons why:
With the recent announcement of Bethenny Frankel & Jason Hoppy’s marriage coming to an end, “soon-to-be divorced” becomes their current relationship status. This transition period of deciding to no longer be together to a finalized divorce can be a lengthy and emotional time period. Similar to the limbo period between heaven and hell, the waiting for closure can create a place of purgatory for even the strongest of people. It would be very easy to spend this time in mourning for the death of a relationship.
When I was a child, it seemed like every adult in my zip code had an uncanny skill for making a “mountain out of a molehill.” In other words, of taking the smallest shred of negativity and amplifying all the tyranny and rottenness that shred of negativity may have implied. Before I go any further, let me give credit where credit is due. Exaggeration—the ability to weave a grand story out of next to nothing—is a very creative endeavor. It takes a keen eye, creative determination, and a lofty ability to wax poetic on all that is wrong.
It is so difficult to know the right thing to say. It depends on your child’s age, previous experiences, and temperament (some children are more sensitive than others), Even though many of our children live far away from Newtown, they may have feelings of fear, anxiety, and confusion. They may ask questions, such as, “Why were the children killed and will this happen in our school?”
It's unthinkable that when you send your child off to school you would ever receieve a call such as those parents in Newtown, CT did on December 14th. It's a parents worst nighmare. My heart aches for those families, as I know everyone's does. As a parent or one who works with children, you may face difficult questions. It is important that you address the topic with your child even if they don't bring it up - they most definitely have heard about it.
Once More for the Children it is not in my realm of understanding to suggest what the children will miss most. that is for only them to say, and they are now silent. And that is the saddest for me. Surely my God has blinked. As sacrilegious as it sounds that is the only rational my human mortal heart will accept. In that blink of my Lord's eye children were taken from our world to his heaven, and with them went their dreams and their realities which were meant to touch us all through the lives that they would live but which now touch our spirits in the silence of their leaving.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of frustration for parents and teachers, making them question their skills and abilities, and leading to the belief that they need to escalate severity to get consequences to work. This can easily result in stronger and stronger reprimands, lectures, and even yelling, along with more and more drastic and punitive consequences. This is typically a recipe for disaster. There is a much better way. Really understanding why time-outs don’t work is the place to begin.
By Michele Borba, Ed.D., GalTime Parenting Pro No matter what time of year it is, how many toys are in the bin or how often we splurge on the big-ticket products kids think they must have, most parents want to believe we are raising our children to be centered and kind. But are all those times we give in and just buy the American Girl doll or giant Lego set adding up? Are our own spending habits modeling behavior we don't want kids to learn?
It could be that your child gives up easily when faced with a challenge. It could be that your child wants to quit piano or a sport halfway through the season. Or maybe your child is afraid of “failing” or looking “dumb.” Or perhaps your perfectionist child won’t even try a new challenge for fear of not measuring up.
The holidays are upon us! I can guarantee you we aren't the only parents bracing ourselves to be buried in plastic, battery-sucking toys with flashing lights and other items that our 19-month-old daughter will play with a few times and then abandon.
So many kind and thoughtful parents are trying so hard to simply have a lovingly positive impact on their child, only to see the child slip further and further into the realm of being “challenging.” This is so prevalent, even among the best and brightest parents. Difficult child behavior comprises a quiet epidemic – the kind that brings so many to their knees.
By Dr. Stacey MacKinnon, Psychologist, FindYourPlusOne.com We all know it is exciting when everything in a relationship is new, developing, and growing into something larger and more meaningful then we initially imagined. But even exciting new beginnings require some thought, especially when one or both people in the relationship have children.
There is a quiet despair among so many loving, smart, and deeply caring parents. They so desire to see their children manifest their greatness, to use their intensity well instead of having it go awry, and too often they see their best efforts to inspire respectful and responsible choices slip away to further levels of frustration.