According to The New York Times, out of work fathers are lining up for vasectomies in the same fervor as they do the unemployment insurance. The Southern California Planned Parenthood has reported a 30% increase in vasectomies, while an Upper East Side doctor in New York City says the financial world's demise has sent herds of fired New Yorkers into his office, upping his usual monthly snip snip quota from six to nine. Whie we're thrilled as ever men are taking control of this whole reproductive problem (it's almost as good as the whispers of male birth control pills) one would venture to guess men are choosing sterilization over condoms. Interesting. And also a point of concern for doctors who feel the urge to tell their eager Fathers No More that vasectomies, while reversable, aren't an operation that should be done in haste. As one frazzled, recently canned 30-year-old told The Times: "I wanted to get this done before the insurance ran out." As if he was talking about a teeth-cleaning or check-up.
In the months after divorcing my wife, my weeks were bifurcated. Half the week, I was a single father working hard to provide a stable home for my children in the midst of an unstable time. The other half I was a man on his own trying to navigate dating for the first time in my life. Prior to being married, relationships had grown organically out of friendships rather than being the result of formal dates with women I'd met online. Just as I was becoming more comfortable with my new life, I discovered that what I thought to be a hemorrhoid was actually a tumor in my rectum. Luckily there was good hope for a cure, but the treatment would be painful, last nearly a year and leave me with a permanent colostomy.
When my husband and I got married, our divergent religious backgrounds were the last thing on my mind. From the start, we were in full agreement that we would blend our Jewish and Christian traditions into an unstructured cornucopia of customs and holiday celebrations. This all-inclusive philosophy presented little conflict, and we were compatible in our religious laziness. But, eventually, I became a restless wanderer with unresolved questions about my soul's purpose on this earth, and I longed for a deeper, more personal relationship with God.
Would Andy think Jake was as perfect as I did? Perfect manners. Perfect behavior. Perfect attitude. Jake had just turned three. He was a sweet kid, affectionate and kind—but perfect manners? Who was I kidding? It wasn't as if "thank you" was exactly a recognized word in his vocabulary.
According to a recent study by scientists at the University of Queensland, a Hugh Hefner-aged father may actually be detrimental to the child's cognitive abilities. Out of a pool of 33, 000 children it was found that those with the oldest fathers consistently scored lower on intelligence tests. Unfortunately, no exact age was pinpointed as too old. Rather, the scientists just witnessed a general decline with more mature dads—66 being the oldest father in the study. While, yes, the reasons behind a low IQ score could most certainly be blamed on a myriad of factors, researcher Professor John McGrath said the results were "startling" and goes so far as to say the age of the father is as important as the age of the mother. While we always thought of sperm as evergreen, new research proves that older men "accumulate more mutations" in their swimmers as they age.
Nadya Suleman, newly made mother of 14 children, is a news story that won't quit. The Associated Press reports "Suleman has been supporting her six other children with $490 a month in food stamps and receives Social Security disability payments for three of the youngsters that could total $2,379 a month." Her octuplets, who were born prematurely on January 26 and remain in the hospital, are racking up further expenses. The AP says the cost of raising 14 children as a single mother in California lies somewhere between $1.3 to $2.7 million. Taxpayers—perhaps those struggling to pay their own family's expenses in a recession—are angry.
My youngest daughter takes great delight in reminding me that I will be a half century old this year. She has marked my journey to the golden 50 year mark ever since she passed second grade math. So I have decide to write my thoughts about reaching that milestone of life and what I see for my next 50 years. My title comes from a Phil Vassar song called my next 30 years, but since I passed that mark awhile ago, I decided it fits for my 50th.
A recent Op-Ed piece in The New York Times suggests that children have the potential to deteriorate (and even end) a marriage. This is especially true, it says, for couples where the child happens by accident, or if one parent procreates out of obligation and not desire. More than 25 separate studies have established that marital quality drops, often quite steeply, after the transition to parenthood. And forget the “empty nest” syndrome: when the children leave home, couples report an increase in marital happiness.
Blaming your parents for messing up your life is about as cliche as pointing out that kids speak the truth. A Divine Caroline post featuring children's advice on relationships reveals both ideas really are kinda sorta... true. The site polled a bunch of rugrats on the topics of love, marriage, dating and kissing. While utterly endearing, these responses also offer an interesting case to the nature/nurture debate about gender roles. Kids start picking up on relationship behaviors and attitudes long before they have the vocabulary to address what's going on.
If you think starting over after a bad breakup is tough, you should try heading out into the dating jungle as a single mom. Thankfully, The LoveFeed is here with info on a new dating site just for single moms. Check out http://www.singlemummy.com to find your perfect match!
The year may be coming to end, but the time to get closer to your partner is just beginning. The holidays are an opportunity for couples to introduce the traditions that have been passed from one generation to the next—but also to create new traditions that enhance a relationship for years to come. Here we've collected ten holiday traditions (some a little spicier than others) that you and your boyfriend or husband can make your own. Happy holidays! – Maureen Dempsey and Elizabeth Narins
Several recent studies have surfaced claiming that working women logging long hours means they have kids much later. This effects other issues like population, along with the ethical and economic issues surrounding infertility treatments. Infertility treatments are increasing in popularity all over the world, while population decreases, and families become smaller. Will these discoveries be enough to make women get pregnant, want to have children sooner, and focus on career and family? Fat chance.
Poll: Should Therapy For Kids Of Divorced Parents Be Mandatory?: Yes, absolutely. They'll thank you in the long run. No, not necessarily. The kids should be able to choose.
Part 2 of our video series with Esther Perel, couples therapist and author of "Mating in Captivity," which helps couples reconcile the domestic and the erotic. More sex advice from YourTango Experts: Sex Video: Can A Couple Be Happy Without Sex? Advice: My Girlfriend Is Afraid Of Sex Sex Video: How Do You Keep Sex Fresh?