None of us want "spoiled" kids—kids who are bratty, self-centered, demanding, inconsiderate. So, what spoils children and what doesn't? When I was raising my children, I was often told that I would spoil them if I held them a lot, rather than let them cry. Fortunately, I didn't believe this. You can't spoil a child with love. Children need love as much as they need food and water. The problem is in defining "love."
CHILDREN BEHAVING BADLY
A man who is a user is truly not interested in you–only what you can offer. All his initial questions relate to your job, career and income status. Do you have a car? What kind of car is it? What year, make and model? Do you have kids? Who lives with you? These are all probing questions a man with a user mentality will ask, in order to see where he can fit in and take advantage of you.
When I was growing up there was rarely an overweight child. Occasionally someone would be plump, but I can't remember anyone in my class being fat. However, TV wasn't around until I was eight years old, and the streets were a safe place to play. We had plenty of P.E. in school and we played hard after school. Even as we grew older and had more homework, physical activity was a major part of our lives. And there wasn't so much junk food around yet.
Your teen leaves his dirty clothes all over the house. Instead of getting into another fight with him or nagging him to pick them up, you do it for him. It’s easier, right? Your daughter with ADD is having problems completing her science project. She can’t seem to focus and complains that it’s boring and too difficult. After she goes to sleep, you finish it for her. After all, you don’t want her to fail.
Does your child's behavior, the choices he or she makes, and fears about how he will turn out weigh you down, making you feel like it's all somehow a reflection on you? When our kids don't act in ways we think they should, it's natural to feel anxious and responsible; we're only human. But, when we do this, we stop seeing the boundary between where we end and where our child begins. We become fused with them.
When things don't work out between you and the person you married, you suffer internally, agonizing over a new life without each other, reminiscing about the way he once made you feel. Then, it hits you: what about your children? What happens to them?
Are you worried about your child’s behaviors in public, are you tired of hearing negative comments about your child’s behaviors from family, friends, and teachers, does your stomach sink and you feel totally embarrassed when your child starts to act out in public?
Do you have a child who shuts down, melts down, or acts out & you need some strategies that work NOW Is your family swamped by too many things on the to do list, leaving little time for deep connections with those in your family? Maybe you've seen your child become upset and overwhelmed, but you're so depleted and rushed there is little time to understand what your child is really feeling? If children do not feel heard and validated they will express their feelings in other unhealthy ways, leading to possible behavior and emotional problems. That means your child may have tantrums, act out, shutdown, or meltdown as an attempt to express their needs.