There are a lot of decisions to be made when you become a parent. You have to pick a name for your child, pick their daily wardrobe and most importantly, pick your parenting style. In this article, Dr. Lisa Kaplin discusses helicopter parenting and why it's actually not an effective way to raise productive and capable adults. Are you guilty of hovering over your kid?
CHILDREN BEHAVING BADLY
There are a ton of parenting styles out there but not all are effective in raising productive and balanced people. Read on to learn what parenting expert Monica Magnetti has to say about leading by example and why she thinks that is best course of action for you and your family.
You can improve communication in your parent-child relationship by using your children's bad behavior as teachable moments, not opportunities for punishment.
I recently read an article by Nick Bilton in the New York Times http://nyti.ms/Y7Qk7R entitled “The Child, the Tablet and the Developing Mind.” He writes on technology and the “Bits” blog for the Times. I was particularly struck by his response to a question his sister asked. She was talking about how she lets her children use iPads at the dinner table when she doesn’t want to.
Adults love to give kids warnings when a rule is broken and would love to believe warnings are a highly compassionate method of parenting, a reflection of our loving and kind humanity. But guess what? Warnings may be the farthest thing from true compassion. Though almost always well-intentioned, warnings will routinely backfire. Here are the main reasons why:
If you know your child is being bullied, start by taking a deep breath. Your first instinct may be to charge in and do something to protect your child. However, your goal should be to help your child protect herself as much as possible, which will take some planning and understanding.
When I was a child, it seemed like every adult in my zip code had an uncanny skill for making a “mountain out of a molehill.” In other words, of taking the smallest shred of negativity and amplifying all the tyranny and rottenness that shred of negativity may have implied. Before I go any further, let me give credit where credit is due. Exaggeration—the ability to weave a grand story out of next to nothing—is a very creative endeavor. It takes a keen eye, creative determination, and a lofty ability to wax poetic on all that is wrong.
Failed time-outs can be a huge source of frustration for parents and teachers, making them question their skills and abilities, and leading to the belief that they need to escalate severity to get consequences to work. This can easily result in stronger and stronger reprimands, lectures, and even yelling, along with more and more drastic and punitive consequences. This is typically a recipe for disaster. There is a much better way. Really understanding why time-outs don’t work is the place to begin.
A new survey shows that the average adult tells four lies a day, or 1,460 lies a year. Is it any wonder that our children tell fibs, too? Yet chances are when your child tells a whopper, it makes you mad. Why do kids lie? Kids lie for lots of reasons. One of the biggest reasons is to avoid punishment. After all, what child likes being grounded or losing privileges?
So many kind and thoughtful parents are trying so hard to simply have a lovingly positive impact on their child, only to see the child slip further and further into the realm of being “challenging.” This is so prevalent, even among the best and brightest parents. Difficult child behavior comprises a quiet epidemic – the kind that brings so many to their knees.
There is a quiet despair among so many loving, smart, and deeply caring parents. They so desire to see their children manifest their greatness, to use their intensity well instead of having it go awry, and too often they see their best efforts to inspire respectful and responsible choices slip away to further levels of frustration.
By Leslie Rouder, LCSW,CHt Very often I will hear a parent tell me that his child could not possibly have ADD because he is able to play video games for long hours without being distracted in the least. Or that one’s spouse can watch a football game without ever being distracted.
Whatever. Fine. I don't know. Do those phrases just push every button you've got? It used to make me crazy when my (now 27-year old) son answered 'cool' to everything, including incredibly sad news. It took forever for me to understand that 'cool' just meant 'I heard what you said.'