Smart daters know when to compromise. Those who never compromise will always remain single. Discuss.
Here is a fact: I have never had a f**k buddy/friend with benefits. This is likely for the same reason it's become common knowledge that I am incapable of having a one-night stand without getting a case of the sadz—I cannot stop myself from associating sex with love. The nature of a f**k buddy situation is that the two people involved like each other as people and as sex objects, but not as boyfriend/girlfriend material. The difference between a friends with benefits situation and a one-night-stand, of course, is that usually in the case of FWB, the two people involved already know each other and, in theory, have ruled out any interest in the other person as a potential mate, at least for the time being. Well, here's a confession: I want one. Bad.
Why do we hold on to the man who isn’t good for us, our feelings of insecurity and being less-than, or our pattern of picking jerks and liars? These are all self-sabotaging behaviors and beliefs, and intellectually we know it. Yet we cling on for dear life, feeling powerless over our unfortunate circumstance.
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving that I turn into a withdrawn ball of mush.
Ever wonder why you date men that seem perfect—only to find out they're completely wrong for you? If you keep falling for that sexy man in a suit (your boss) or the one you were crazy to let get away (your ex), perhaps your feelings aren't for the individuals at all—you're hooked on the setting. Love is all about right place, right time. Or when it comes to the following men, wrong place, wrong time.
Who doesn't love great sex? Thanks to a new book about it, you can figure out whom you'll have the most chemistry with, or learn how to love up the one you're with, based on both your zodiac signs. Appropriately titled The Astrology of Great Sex, Myrna Lamb's book bears the subtitle "Discover Your Lover's—And Your Own—Deepest Desires". Enticing, right? It is, and it's also pretty accurate and incisive. As a professional astrologer myself, I can say that: You'll be impressed by how much of what turns you on, and gets you off, can be determined by the day you were born. Which gave us a thought: Besides flipping through to see how your exes stack up, couldn't this also give us invaluable insight into celeb couples' lives between the sheets? As it turns out, some of those gossipy stories that didn't seem to make much sense before, suddenly will! Read on, and you'll see what we mean.
Last summer a team of scientists published a paper in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality. The team had interviewed both individuals having great sex and sex therapists to determine the qualities necessary for what they called “optimal sex”. They identified eight key factors: being present, connection, deep sexual and erotic intimacy, extraordinary communication, interpersonal risk taking and exploration, authenticity, vulnerability and transcendence.
One night, over a shared bottle of wine, she was explaining the finer points of her technique, when a cute guy walked over and poked his head between us. "What are you drinking?" he asked. "What does it look like we're drinking?" I answered snottily. That night was filled with valuable lessons. The main one being, if someone asks you a question—even a dumb one—they're trying to engage you on some level, so don't shoot them down. Here are a few other flirting don'ts I discovered along the way.
I co-hosted a radio show this week with special guest Dr. Adam Sheck, an Imago Relationship Therapist. He and I became friends via Facebook and realized we think alike and often write about the same things at the same time. One of the things we discussed last night was the three C’s of relationships. I thought it would be helpful to share them here.
When do you tell your date there's no chemistry? Or do you tell them at all?
After a new man enters your life and he becomes your boyfriend you naturally want to fold him into every aspect of your life. Over time you will want to introduce him to your friends, your colleagues and ultimately your family. But introductions should be handled with care and as we have learned, should be timed appropriately.
Being single affords you the chance to get to know all sorts of people. We encourage all singles to date as many different types of people as pique your interest and curiosity. These are the men we’d all like to date at least once in our single lifetimes. Are you with us?