Let's face it — when the guy you are dating acts like a bully, it can be very intimidating. It seems like he loves you and most of the time you get along well. Yet, there are times when the bully shows up and you wonder about the choice you've made. Dating a bully can chip away at your self-esteem and confidence which is never good for you or the relationship.
Nobody wants contact with a bully, in grade school or at any age. From a compassionate communication standpoint (www.communicationcoaching.net) even a bully has a reason for his/her actions. As hard as that may be to understand OR accept, if we know his story, we might find it easier to connect. That doesn’t mean to accept it, but rather to see what need he wants fulfilled.
So, you do not yell at your husband. Have you ever heard of families where they never yell, they are fine and then they divorce. Turns out they were the most unhappy people and you would have never even picked it up. Weird. Not. Yelling is just one way of expressing frustration and anger. And really, we females, are trying to be more subtle in bullying tactics.
Buried in "How readers scored first presidential debate," today's letters to the editor section of the Denver Post, is one with a slightly different twist. Kelsey Kenfield noted: "What truly frightened me to the core was Mick Romney's unabashed disregard, arrogance and lack of respect shown for the moderator, Jim Lehrer, an equally learned and accomplished person, a man doing nothing to Romney but offering him a forum to express himself. [… His] attitude towards someone he perceived as standing in his way is … more a measure of the man than anything else that happened Wednesday night. This behavior should not be ignored."
In what is possibly the most heartwarming story of the week, an entire community in Michigan has come out in support of a bullied teen.
The explosive growth of cell phones, texting, computers and online social sites have created a modern day problem that you as a parent of a teen or tween must face and hopefully overcome – cyberbullying. Remember when a tiny note rolled up and passed along in class could be devastating to you or your best friend? Or someone changing tables in the cafeteria as you sat down could be a message that hurt for months? These sorts of events were awful and children were known to cry themselves to sleep over such innocent slights and hurts.
Initially, they were quick to defend their comment because there was nothing intentionally harmful or hurtful about it. They were "just kidding" and "fooling around." Everyone knew they were joking, and it wasn't intended to do harm to anyone. That was when I saw my teachable moment.
Parents, teachers, extended family and neighbors recognize the special challenges of those who love and teach learning disabled children and adults. They are usually sensitive, kind and giving as small children. Because they are small in stature, people are more forgiving of what they can and cannot do. Teenagers With Learning Disabilities
Wondering what the recipe is for creating a bully? Well, I have some good news. We are beginning to have some answers thanks to a new study by Douglas Gentile and Brad Bushman published in the July issue of the Psychology of Popular Media Culture.
Assertiveness-Getting What You Want In the world today we are faced with many choices. We are all built with the instinct for fight or flight when faced with confrontation. A bully can gain courage if you do not have to meet in person. Cyberbullying is becoming more and more rampant as people push the "send button" before really thinking through the ramifications of their acts.
If you are a parent, there comes a time when you decide you want to reach your child for emergencies or changes of plans and you get your child a cell phone. The benefit of instant access to your child feels reassuring and safe and you like being available to your child any time they need reassurance or to say hello. It seems as if all the kids have cell phones at school and your best friends have given their kids a cell phone. This seemingly innocent act does have its benefits, what we all need to understand is that there is a dark side which can affect your children.
The unhappy fact is that teasing and bullying are a normal part of the rough and tumble struggle for social status. We are hardwired with the compulsion to compete for belonging and status in our social groups, and sometimes it goes too far. So, what can you do to help your children with this very difficult fact of life?