Over a third of workers have experienced bullying or harassment at their jobs, according to studies by Gary and Ruth Namie of the Workplace Bullying Institute. If you include another 12 percent of workers who have witnessed bullying, almost half of workers are affected by emotional abuse at work. In their book, The Bully at Work, the Namies describe a hard headed strategy that is necessary to protect yourself from a workplace bully and overcome the damaging and costly influence of emotional tyrants in our places of employment. To paraphrase their 3 step strategy:
BULLY, BULLYING, SELF-ESTEEM, CHILDREN, HIGH SELF ESTEEM, SELF ESTEEM ISSUES
This newsletter is a continuation of my last message in which I am attempting to “upgrade” your understanding of the issue of Bullying. To better understand bullying, let’s define it. How we define bullying has an enormous impact on whether we see it as “kids will be kids,” a “rite of passage,” or a reflection of a less humane and violent culture that we have created.
At the recent workshop on Parenting Skills “Upgrade” we discussed how life has changed and how things are more stressful for all of us including children. A common theme I’m beginning to see is the need for us to upgrade our understanding of how stress takes us out of relationship with ourselves and others. How the traumatizers not only traumatize others but themselves. We have gotten into negative neurophysiological feedback loops within ourselves and each other.
Recent coverage of the Steubenville, OH rape case noted that people knew what was going on, but chose to look the other way, passively colluding with the abuse. Sticks and Stones by Emily Bazelon is a new book on the culture of bullying, how pervasive it is and what we can try to do to fight it.
Social media has been a wonderful way to bring people together, reconnect with former classmates, brag about your children and share more information than most people are actually interested in. I’m typically quite entertained by Facebook posts or tweets from clever, funny people. Unfortunately, social media also attracts many who use it as a place to bully, demean, argue, rant, complain, swear, and generally work to make the rest of us miserable. I’ve wisely hid or unfriended these people yet periodi
According to a recent study and my own observations, the long-term emotional effects of bullying during childhood can last for years. Many people who walk into my office still carry the scars from childhood bullying and sometimes my work with them includes understanding and changing how they cope. The old saying "sticks and stones" really was a silly one because I think most of us would take a physical injury over a broken heart any day. So here are some tips to heal those old wounds and rid yourself of those bullying messages that you may have gotten as a child or even as an adult:
Teasing and bullying are part of the rough and tumble competition for attention and status among siblings and peers. Sometimes we get used to it by the time we are 30, sometimes not. But for children just entering the social jungle, it can be quite a shock. Some think that physical bullying is worse than teasing. But emotional abuse by cruel teasing can be very damaging and the young child does not know what is happening to him emotionally, where as it is easy to explain that Tommy hit me.
If you know your child is being bullied, start by taking a deep breath. Your first instinct may be to charge in and do something to protect your child. However, your goal should be to help your child protect herself as much as possible, which will take some planning and understanding.
Children won’t always tell you when they are being bullied, teased, or picked on at school. There are several reasons for this. • Teasing and bullying evokes the feeling of shame in the recipient, and the instinctive behavior of shame is to hide and keep a low profile. The child may not want to talk about it or even think about it. So they avoid mentioning it.
All children experience bullying. If they are not the target of a bully, or engaging in bullying behavior themselves, they will witness bullying and be affected by it. As a witness, the child will either identify with the target and feel shame, fear, and vulnerability, or with the bully and be tempted to seek the status associated with the dominant bully.
Setting boundaries in relationships can be difficult for adults.Understanding what teasing is fun and which is hurtful is hard for everyone. It is even more difficult for children to comphrend. One of the main goals of a child is to fit in and be well liked by their peers. Sometimes a message the child is receiving can have a barbed edge or be a subtle put-down by what your child believes is a friend. What is Teasing
As a child & family therapist who has been in practice for over 15 years, it has been surprising how many children and families present with a depressed or anxious child only to find out that a contributing part of the problem is the way the child is being treated by their school teacher. So much focus and emphasis has been put on peer bullying, and while it is certainly a worthy problem that needs to be addressed, I’ve come to believe that focus also needs to be put on bullying
By Barbara Greenberg, PhD, GalTime Teen Parenting Expert, for GalTime.com As October comes to a close and we wrap up honoring National Bullying Prevention Month, we need to remember that it is clearly a topic that needs to be addressed all year long. Today, I want to talk about a kind of bullying that we don't discuss enough -- the acts that happen when other kids and even adults are around.
By Mary Kay Hoal, for GalTime.com Do you suspect your child is bullying other kids online? The headlines are familiar: “Cyberbullying Victim Takes Their Life." “Cyberbullying at an All Time High." “Thirty-eight percent of Girls and 26% of Boys Report Being Bullied Online."
If you look at the child development programs on the market, you will find that they focus on “fixing” children’s behavior. I personally do not like the term “fix” because that insinuates that something is wrong with our children. I much prefer to use the terms “inspire” or “empower” our children to be successful! What if there was a way for you to do just that? What if there was an interactive program that would give you the “tools” to empower your children to
Bullying can best be defined as an imbalance of power. Whenever there is an imbalance of power or strength that is either real or perceived there is a potential for the greater power to intentionally threaten or harm the weaker one. This power struggles usually takes place over a sustained period of time and has the potential to escalate into violence.