Abusive behavior is often excused by three simple words: I love you. Take a stand for yourself and break away from fake love and in to the real deal.
BROKEN PROMISES, BETRAYAL, TRUST IN RELATIONSHIPS
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Funny thing trust! You rarely think about it when you fall in love. It’s an unspoken part of the package. The message comes loud and clear…………. you are THE special person, the centre of their world. Your happiness and well being is of primary concern and you can bask safe and secure in that knowledge. Until the unthinkable happens; you find out she’s having an affair with a colleague or he’s gone on yet another binge dropping, as per usual, all the responsibility on you.
How many times have you heard the words, "If you love me you will trust me" or "Why don't you just trust me?" I don't know how those words feel in your gut but they always fill me with even more distrust than I was originally feeling. Of course any admonitions that you "should" feel trust are designed to circumvent your internal warning system. Whether that is accomplished with assurances or threats or attempts to shame you doesn't really matter. The end result is the same.
As a couples therapist, one situation I’m confronted with often is when a relationship is shaken up by the discovery of a lie. It’s not always infidelity, but that is a classic example. In that first session with a couple who sees me after the discovery of an affair, both partners usually agree on what the problem is – one partner wronged the other, and that person typically sits in my office sheepishly, overcome by guilt, shame, and a vague sense of relief that the truth is finally out.
If your partner is dealing with porn addiction or sex addiction, Valentine’s Day probably doesn’t engender feelings of connectedness and warmth. It may simply make your blood boil, or it could cause you to feel like you just want to crawl in a hole and avoid the very mention of hearts, candy, cupid, and love.
It felt like my heart was broken, shattered like a figurine suddenly knocked off the shelf. I should have, but I didn’t see it coming. I felt lost and alone. Hopeless and grieving. I felt sad and guilty that my children were hurting so badly and nothing I could do could make it better. I couldn't figure out what to do next. I didn’t know who I was anymore. Sometimes I'd wake up in a panic in the night, afraid of ... I don't even know what I was afraid of. So when my neighbor said "I know how you feel Terri ..." I almost came apart. HOW on earth could she possibly know how I felt? I didn't even know! And if she did know, how did she survive? I heard the same thing, over and over and over again.... for years!
Just as the wedding plans were being finalized Neville’s fiancé broke it off - for the third time! He couldn’t believe it. He had been there through thick and thin, including seeing Sheila through her bouts of anxiety and depression. He made allowances for her during these times, and tolerated Sheila’s mother trying to compete with him for the role of ‘chief caretaker.’
When you're dating somebody, what are the boundaries? Are there certain relationship boundaries which, if crossed, cause irreparable damage and the ultimate end of most relationships? While I am not usually a fan of hard and fast “rules” for relationships, there are certain dating behaviors which will almost without exception will end a relationship.
Times are tough right now and holidays are right around the corner and so are lots of expenses. Every one of us is scratching our heads and trying to figure out ways to bring in some extra cash. You may need extra money to buy gifts or just to pay the rent.
So how do you know if you have fallen prey to this subtle form of abuse? It is helpful to start paying attention to your feelings and emotions. If you tune into your body, you will gain clues to help you discover if your partner is trustworthy or not. The easiest way to tell is to ask yourself, "Do I feel emotionally safe with my partner?"
The song, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, was made famous by Aretha Franklin, and she sure had it right as far as it being a really important aspect in relationships. But as you may have guessed, respect is only one of the main ingredients to building a solid foundation. As a relationship expert, I’d like to discuss another very important foundational aspect to any solid relationship: trust. The online dictionary defines it as “a firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.” I have no
By Unlocked Love Matchmakers, Mary Wright for Galtime.Com rebuilding after betrayal Relationships can be challenging, but infidelity can create a hardship that causes the relationship to collapse. After discovering that your partner has been cheating, you may begin to question yourself and wonder how you missed the warning signs.