Love is the most powerful emotion a human being can feel. It is an antecedent to a plethora of emotions stemming from wonder to despair. When relationships end, the person left behind will always wonder to themselves, “Didn’t I once know you?” especially if their heart was shattered.
Sometimes the recovery period after a failed relationship lasts as long as—or longer—than the relationship. The circumstances in every relationship may be different, but post-breakup emotions are as universal as the stages of grief. As part of our "Break Up With Your Ex" initiative, geared at helping readers finally let go of past loves, we asked YourTango Experts to answer the big breakup questions we've all asked.
What happens when you're already broken up, but just can't break up with the past? It's bad enough to end things with a person, but to have to say adieu to memories and the invisible, yet somehow tangible, threads that connect you to a former relationship can be even harder. Here are a few (healthy) ways to break up with your ex.
You’ve removed any pre-breakup photos from your frames, packed up every picture, re-gifted your teddy bears and torn up your love notes! So why after virtually erasing your ex... are you still struggling to mend your broken heart? Despite your efforts to rid your environment of every physical aspect of your ex, relationships leave you with emotional inventory that can’t be cleared with a keystroke like the history cache on your computer.
Maybe it's only been a few weeks or months or possibly even years since your marriage ended. Maybe your friends and family have been sympathetic and supportive, but now you suspect they are wondering the same question that is lurking at the back of your own mind... “When will I finally move on after the divorce?”
Most often, we think of heartbreak as a certain sense of sadness and longing when a relationship ends that can only be stifled with pints of Ben & Jerry's and the constant reassurance from close friends that, "You're better off, honey." But new research has shown that heartbreak is a real occurrence, especially after the loss of a loved one. And it can literally kill you.
Cheating has been analyzed through a never ending stream of expert opinions and "why men cheat" books and articles. Overwhelmingly, the barrage of cheat-lit takes the much needed stance of helping women either demonize or empathize in addition to ensuring women that there's something that can be done to prevent a man from cheating. Not this article.
That big bouffant, those bold tattoos, the strapless 60's sheaths and deep, soulful voice. Amy Winehouse, despite her tortured soul, let the world know through her music that it was okay to be yourself. Even if you were vulnerable, desperately wanting of love and a little bit of a mess.
It warms my heart that after having their engagement unceremoniously broken off by Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, and suffering the humiliation of an ill-timed wedding photo shoot, Kristin Cavallari is doing so well.
There's good news and there's bad news. The good news is that couples are divorcing less these days due to infidelity. Yay! The bad news is that they're divorcing more because they've fallen out of love. Boo.
If you are suffering from a broken heart or still carrying a shield over you heart to protect it from being broken again, Listen Up! Many of the women who come to me for help say something to the affect of “ I don’t’ ever want that to happen again1” How can I ever trust myself again”. Or, something like “ I am done with relationships, it’s just not worth the pain”. My response is two fold. Learning how to be discerning and not allow yourself to fall for someone when red flags are waving is one element that helps with this.